Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I'm waiting for my Mother to hold me. I'm waiting to give her my all. I've waited so long and I know the moment is near, and I'm trembling all over. I'm afraid. So very afraid. Something is holding me back and it won't release me to let me go to her. I can't escape it, I can't get away. It's always here, laughing at me, telling me that I'm not good enough and that my Mother doesn't want me...doesn't love me. My prayers fall into the silence. No one sees my tears but an old woman, herself the mother to many. She reaches out to me, asks me if I'm alright, but I can't speak, I only nod my head in a lie. Because I'm not alright. How will I feel when the time comes to go to her, and I let it pass, if I stay buried, hidden in my cover of shame?

Oh Mother come to me! Don't wait for me to come to you, because I might not. Come to me now and hold me, don't ever let me go, promise you will always love me, always be here for me. Flood me with your goodness so I will become strong enough to consecrate myself to you, to become a slave of your love forever. Amen.


  1. Anne,
    Oh your Mother loves you, and wants you. I'm sure she's holding her arms out to embrace you. Just pray for grace and strength to go forward. I'll be thinking of you, and offer my daily rosary for your intentions.
    With all blessings,

  2. Anne,

    Mary has her arms out to you perpetually and cannot wait to embrace you fully. It sounds like you are only that last step away from consecration - just saying the words.

    Bless you in your continued discernment!

  3. Remember you are consecrating yourself to Jesus, through Mary. Not consecrating to Mary. That might help you feel worthy, your Heavenly Mother is making you worthy for her Son.

    God bless you, I'll pray for you!

  4. Anne,
    Your words are beautiful and heart-felt. Jamie makes a good point- to Jesus through Mary.
    My prayers are with you as you go forward with your consecration.
    Remember Mary wants so much to lead you to her Son.
    God Bless!

  5. Great reminder, Jamie! I could not have said it better myself. Anne, in the words of Padre Pio - don't worry! God loves you and will never forsake you; He gave you a Mother in Heaven who loves you beyond measure. Now, "let go!" She will bring you closer to Christ.

  6. I know I've said this beofre, but "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called". You've been called - and He makes you qualified!! Our Blessed Mother only wants to bring you closer to Him, so leap!!

  7. Anne,

    Remember this part of the prayer:
    (St. Maximilian Kolbe)

    If it pleases you, use all that I am and have without reserve, wholly to accomplish what was said of you: "She will crush your head," and, "You alone have destroyed all heresies in the world." Let me be a fit instrument in your immaculate and merciful hands for introducing and increasing your glory to the maximum in all the many strayed and indifferent souls, and thus help extend as far as possible the blessed kingdom of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus. For wherever you enter you obtain the grace of conversion and growth in holiness, since it is through your hands that all graces come to us from the most Sacred Heart of Jesus.

    Use ALL that I am and have....Maybe that means the fear too!

    Jesus I trust you! :)

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  9. Anne, I like that you are not afraid to express your emotions to God. Little children do that. I know Christ will fill your heart with strength and joy. :-) Mary will see to it that her Son does just that. :-)

  10. Anne,
    I am going to send you an e-mail tonight. I tried to start it but my daughter is clamoring for my attention :)

  11. Wow, you are all such an awesome group of women and I am blessed! I spoke with a priest today and now I know that everything will be fine. I am going to go ahead, I can't stay away! Thank you all so much for your support, and Jamie, thank you for straightening out my wording. God bless you sweet ladies!