Monday, September 5, 2011

Erase Me, Lord














I've been toying with the thought of deleting this blog, completely wiping it out into oblivion. Oldest son discouraged that idea, said Imprisoned in my Bones is who I am, and I would lose myself without these words on the internet, these two and a half years of words that speak a lifetime of pain, joy, faith and love. Maybe that's the right idea, to lose myself...to live for Him alone.

All of the poems, prayers and stories have exposed me-but have they really given the glory to the only One deserving of exposure? I read the words of famous bloggers who are hailed as heroes of faith for their uplifting words, but what happens at night when the house is quiet and all of the internet chatter is silenced? What happens when they lay in bed staring at the ceiling in the dark? Is He there holding them, loving them? Can they feel Him? Or are they waiting for the happily ever after that is supposed to come for those who believe-but living like Cinderella in the ashes, waiting for Prince Charming to make himself known?

I want to be erased of all that I am, Lord, and to be rewritten for You alone. I want to feel You now, know You right here. Sweep away the ashes and erase me, Lord, so that You alone are known.

7 comments:

  1. Well, while I understand your perspective, I'm sure I speak on behalf of everyone when I say "Thank you for not deleting your blog!!!"

    God Bless you!

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  2. Anne,
    Don't erase your blog, Anne. Please? It's not that I haven't considered the same, I have - blogging sometimes seems to be more trouble than it's worth but sometimes just taking a little break seems to help. Try that first because it would be a shame if your words were erased. I don't know any famous bloggers personally but I would think that they have struggles like we do. Maybe not the same kind of struggles but no one is immune to pain and suffering. I go through periods where God seems totally absent from my life too so please know that you are not alone in this. And yes, it causes me terrible suffering.

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  3. Once again, I know what you mean and empathize with your desires. I really struggle with myself when blogging can be a time robber and I'm fighting for the right balance, ALL for God's glory. I don't want blogging to be about me at all but I still wonder if it's all worth it. With that being said, I think we all have responsibilities towards the gifts that God has given. You have tremendous gifts that you share and I know that many readers must be as thankful as I am. (or more) We don't get to know the feeling of gratification and that must be part of the emptying of self. I will pray for your peace and discernment, dear Anne. Please don't leave us...God shows His face through your words more than you will ever know.

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  4. Anne, please continue to allow God's Light to shine through you. Remember that we are not to hide beneath the bushel baskets...putting ourselves out there isn't easy.

    You are so gifted at sharing your struggles in a way that others can relate to, and your passion for God is all over your writing.

    If you delete your blog, there will be others to read, but no one else will shine God's Light in the way uniquely entrusted to you. You are irreplaceable, and what you share is certainly a blessing to me.

    Please keep your candle burning...

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  5. Anne, I have so enjoyed reading your blog. You have really been an encouragement to me. I hope that you will continue to share your gifts with us! I do understand though what you are going through as I often think the same thing. I will pray for your discernment, especially through the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

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  6. Anne, I agree with these other friends of yours. Yours is one of the few blogs that I read regularly. Your love for God shines through as does your love for your family and those God has connected to your life. You do have a sweet, beautiful soul and it would be terrible to erase what you have posted in your beautiful blog.

    I do think Mary's idea is a good one--take a break maybe?

    The other idea is one my friend who introduced me to blogging does, she only goes online reading or posting every other day. She is very disciplined about it. I have tried it, but just like your poem begging God to show you how real he is, I pop on line wanting the light of my LCD screen to touch my heart that is really craving for the consolation of God!

    God bless you!

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  7. Thank you for sharing your feelings here and on so many posts. Please do not erase your blog. God gave you a gift to write about Him and your love for Him. You need to share it. If not here on a blog, then somewhere. But please don't erase these precious words. God bless!

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