I had a feeling that my husband was a little out of sorts before he left for work. He was unusually quiet and wouldn't let on to what might be bothering him, if anything. Whenever Paul falls quiet I always assume he's mad at me, and really, poor wife that I am, I give him lots to be mad about. I've been gone an awful lot lately and maybe that was bothering him. Or maybe it was because I'd been spending a lot of time on the computer when I am home. I decided that the reason for his silence is that I've been neglecting him. My biggest weakness, I fear, is that I am always busy and often gone leaving Paul to manage the household on his own. Frankly, between both of our busy work and volunteer schedules the only real conversation, if you could call it a conversation, that we've had in the past week concerned the dinner menu. That's pretty ho-hum, wouldn't you agree?
Paul does an awful lot of giving in our marriage and I am quite good at the taking end of things. When I first began my involvement with Roses for Our Lady a little over a year ago, Paul was less than thrilled. "Oh great," I'm sure he thought. "Here's another project to keep her involved with something other than the family." When I'd ask him to come to the holy hours and other Roses events with me he'd usually decline and say "That's your thing, not mine." So here he was this past Sunday, kindly helping out with my thing, our annual May Crowning, and telling me that he is eager to help again at our next event. I've got to admit that I've got a way-fabulous husband.
After Mass I made my daily holy hour and had enough time for some spiritual reading so I pulled out Style, Sex and Substance: Ten Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter edited by Hallie Lord. It's a great little life handbook intended to help women grow in faith and improve their relationship with Christ. It's written by ten Catholic bloggers that I greatly admire. I am so grateful to my friend, Kathy Frymark, at the Salzmann Library for adding this little gem of a book to the library catalogue so that the women of the Milwaukee area can benefit from the words of wisdom within. During this particular holy hour it just so happened that I read the chapter on marriage, We Said Yes, by Danielle Bean. Danielle's words about her own marriage and how a woman can best love her husband by caring for him, lifted my heart and inspired me to try to be a better wife. I'm sure that reading that chapter was God's intention for me today and I left my holy hour with a renewed zeal to love my husband and to let him know how much I appreciate him.
Danielle offers these five tips to build and strengthen a marriage:
1. Make time for each other.
2. Say "I love you."
3. Do things together.
Her advice seems pretty straightforward and easy. So this weekend I think I"ll cross off every unnecessary thing I had planned on attending from my calendar and I'll stay home with my family just hanging out and enjoying their wonderful company. God blessed me with a marvelous husband. It's high time I let Paul know how grateful I am for the gift of his loving and faithful companionship by making time spent at his side my priority.
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22