Solo Dios

God alone suffices she said
and I do believe that's true
in spite of that I create false gods
of every variety and hue

The one and only God is often
pushed to a corner of my heart
while these idols of every sort
tear my faith apart

aren't they pretty and aren't they kind
don't they seem to draw me to You
don't they say lovely things to enchant me
while subtly blocking Your view

they must be terribly bored
with the value of greatness I've placed
upon them so undeservedly
while making my life a waste

maybe they pity this girl
who creates idols so easily
when the only One who matters
is treated so poorly by me

please God push all of these idols
off the pedestals that I've made
where they teeter so precariously
and let their memories ever fade

smash my desire for them into pieces
so never again will they be
in my simple imagination
the most important deity

let me bury them with my tears
made of longing and disgust
and place all my love in You
who is worthy of all my trust

God alone will suffice for me
let the false idols try as they might
my heart yearns to be true
to my heavenly Father of light

be sufficient for me Lord
be all I ever need
solo Dios basta
is my constant prayer and creed

Courageous

Last spring my husband and I had the opportunity to preview the movie Courageous which was made by a group that is working to to put out movies with a positive Christian message and hopefully impact the world of Hollywood, proving that with the success of this movie, Americans are hungry for good, decent stories with positive messages that are free of the excessive sex, violence and profanity with which we are normally deluded when going to see a movie.

When Paul and I arrived at the theater, we were given a "goody-bag" filled with promotional items and a tee-shirt. When the movie was over, another movie-goer commented that there was something very important that was missing from the "goody-bag'; a box of tissues. I was actually thinking the same thing, because from the very first powerfully opening scene I was emotionally caught up in the lives of the main characters-their hurts, sorrows and joys all felt like my own-and everyone in the theater was frequently moved to tears followed by bursts of laughter.

Courageous offered plenty of exciting action coupled with touching scenes of family life during some of the most difficult situations that life has to offer. The characters were "real"-I felt as if I could relate to them and their family situations. While watching a scene where one of the families was grieving together, I couldn't help but think that these are the real-life saints of today, people who step through their suffering to improve their lives and the lives of those around them. And looking over to my husband at the end of the film, I was struck by the realization that Paul is a living saint, an excellent father who already knows the importance of spending time with his children, of being a strong disciplinarian, and of encouraging our children to live their lives with the purpose of giving glory to God in all they do. And more than that, I also realized how blessed we are in the Catholic Church to have spiritual fathers, our priests, who spend their lives promoting the same values that were fostered in this film: love, integrity, spiritual friendships, and a strong faith in God.

Courageous is finally out in theaters starting today, September 30th and I encourage you to see it. Without a doubt it was the best and most powerful movie that I have ever seen and just watching the trailer, I found that I once again had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes recalling the story that calls all fathers to be Courageous in their vocation.

(a partial re-post from the archives)

Angel of Prayer

On this feast of the angels St. Michael, St. Gabriel, and St. Raphael -an angelic repost from the archives...





















God has overcome me.

When my soul becomes so full
of the wonder of His presence
that I can no longer contain Him,
He overflows in the form of tears
spilling from my soul-windows during Holy Mass.
I bend to my knees in humble submission
to His glory.

I can feel His angels surround me,
and my guardian angel joins me in prayer.
She gently reaches into my heart
and takes my prayer into her hands.
She tenderly carries it to God,
and breathes my prayer into His heart.

Once the tears and the prayer
have been released from my heart and soul
to their proper Home, the heart of God,
peaceful exhaustion takes their place.

I simply rest in the Lord, my peace.

Exuberance

On a monotonous morning at work with moms and babies and toddlers in and out of my office listening to my shpeel about iron rich foods, the importance of breastfeeding and how to deal with a picky eater, I was stopped short by a four-month-old baby with a smile from here to eternity. I was going on and on telling mom about how gastro-esophageal reflux is the diagnosis of the day and every baby has it; it's just a fancy word for spit-up and yes, it's messy, but her baby will outgrow it, and as long as he gains weight, he'll be just fine. This little guy was certainly gaining weight and appeared to be very healthy, but it was that smile and that laugh...THAT LAUGH...that really made my day.

Every time I opened my mouth to speak to mom, which was often, baby would laugh and smile. And I would stop talking to laugh and smile back at baby. And mom would smile and laugh along and then comment on how her son thought that I was talking to him instead of about him. And the three-year-old sister was busy playing with my pink barbie doll Volkswagen Beetle with the sunroof, trying to figure out how she could get inside of it instead of just simply push it around the floor. (Which, by the way, every toddler who comes into my office attempts to get into the car by sticking their foot into the sunroof and then into the side door. It really is quite amusing!)

Our entertaining visit was nearing an end and mom was getting up to leave when she mentioned that she needed to send for a copy of her daughter's birth certificate which she had misplaced and then casually let it drop that she couldn't get her family into a homeless shelter without it. For the first time I noticed the stressed look on her face. I asked her if she was staying with family and she vaguely answered "No. Just around." I invited her to sit down once again while I gave her all of the information that I had for emergency shelter, food, clothing and baby items, which always seems so inadequate when what I'd really like to do is stay with her and help her resolve all of her difficulties. I offered her my prayers and best wishes and she was on her way.

But her baby stayed on my mind. His exuberant smile and laughter must be such a blessing to his mother whether he spits up or not. I recalled the days when my children were babies and how the days at home could drag on forever-there was always a dirty floor that needed cleaning, a pail of diapers that needed washing, toys underfoot, temper tantrums raging (usually mine!), and loneliness for adult conversation. But when my babies would smile and laugh, it made all of the troubles so worth it! There's no denying that the mother in my office had some serious problems, but for a little while she was able to put those troubles aside and laugh with her baby. How blessed that mother is to have such a joyful little son and how blessed we all are by the precious gift of life that only God can create.

40 Days for Life begins today. Will you fast and pray to save the life of a precious little baby who can bring happiness and sunshine into this often lonely and difficult world?

Campfire Conversations

Moses and George Bush were riding on an elevator. George Bush recognized Moses and said "Hello." Moses ignored him. George Bush tried again but still, Moses offered no response. Finally, George Bush reprimanded Moses and said, "Don't you know it's rude not to speak to someone who is talking to you?" Moses replied, "The last time I talked to a Bush I spent 40 years in the desert!!!" (A campfire joke shared by my son John.)

On our camping vacation with our long-time friends from church, all of us friends since our teenagers were babies, we have a tradition of starting two adjacent bonfires at night-one for the adults and another for the kids, otherwise our group is too large for anyone to cozy up close enough to the warm fire.

The conversation at the adult campfire quickly turned to St. Matthias Parish, of which we have all been members for 15-20 years. The talk concerned the recent trend of emptier pews and the many reasons why we felt that families would choose to leave a parish to which they had long been members. One thought was that it is a parent's duty to make sure that their children were happy at church and the parents better do whatever it takes to insure that the little ones don't give up the faith, even if that means changing parishes. And Steve and Kathy, who have long been pillars of the parish, deeply involved in every ministry, and most currently passionately building up the youth of the parish by running the youth ministry which is affectionately called FEET (Faith Empowering and Engaging Teens), were just wanting ideas to keep those same teens who might be bored at church actively involved with their faith at the parish in which they were raised. There certainly are no easy answers and everyone is going to do what they feel is best for their family-either leave or dig in and plant the roots of faith even deeper.

So this girl who likes to send her roots down deep and stay put, changed the topic to share her love for her family minivan. Our minivan is over ten years old; it's rusty and noisy and has safely carried our family over 120,000 miles. Paul would like to trade it in for a newer and less maintenance-costly model, but I love my van-it's my daily traveling companion and I just can't bear to part with it. Sometimes it makes some strange noises, but I just turn the radio a little louder and carry on. I feel the same way about my house and my husband. I know that my van, my house and my husband, beloved though they all are, are none of them perfect. But I love them all just the same and couldn't imagine my life without them

And that's exactly how I feel about my parish. Sure, we've got troubles and problems, but if I bail, which I've often been tempted to do over the years, then I haven't done one single thing to help solve the problems, I've only selfishly run away to look for something new which I will soon find has problems of it's own.

A few years ago, when my depression was at it's most severe, God called me to begin attending daily Mass. I didn't want to go. I cried all the way to church, cried all during Mass, and then cried all the way home again. I begged God to just let me roll over and sleep for another thirty minutes. Why did He always have to drag me to church every day when I was just tired and wanted to sleep, I wondered? But somehow God's drawing me to Mass was powerful and potent and I could not resist, so there I was every day at 7 AM Mass, tears and all. Over time, I stopped complaining and dried my tears long enough to notice how beautiful that daily Mass was and before long I couldn't imagine staying away. I began to thank God for daily Mass instead of complaining about how unhappy I was to attend.

I think there's a lesson in that experience for the youth of our parish. They might not want to attend Confirmation classes, they might complain about having to dress nicely for church, they might prefer to sleep in on a Sunday morning, and they might even say that Mass is boring. But if we, as parents, continue to compel them to come through obedience, sooner or later they will stop complaining and they will find the beauty in the routine of worship and they will feel the love God has for them and will respond in wanting to give all of their love right back to the Lord. If we teach them to run away every time things become the least bit unpleasant at church or in life, then we haven't done our job in firmly teaching them the faith or given them the life skill of endurance through good times and bad.

And Steve looked over at the youthful campfire and said, "Now that's spiritual-twelve teens getting along, sharing stories with one another, even though they rarely see each other. There's a fine example of living joyfully and glorifying the Lord."

And why does that spiritual connection happen? Because even if the parents complain about the difficulties of camping such as rain, cold weather, and hard rocks to sleep on, they persevere in bringing their children on a family camping trip year after year and the children learn that there are joys and sorrows intertwined in all things, that life is a combination of ease and difficulties, and that by lovingly continuing the traditions of our faith and our lives we allow God to shine through and bring beauty and faith to all situations.

And so we stay at our parish, we continue on in our Catholic faith, we hold on to our friendships. We embrace a radical fidelity to the lives to which God has called us and in the end, He will reward our faithfulness with his abiding and eternal love.

The Lord Has Done Marvels For Us

"The Lord has done marvels for us." Psalm 126

The Bender family has long been early risers, so on the first day of our camping vacation, while our friends were sleeping in, we all got up for an early morning walk along the lake. As we were returning, I noticed a man sitting on a picnic bench with a big camera aimed our way. I suspiciously told Justin and Mary, my walking companions, "That guy over there is taking a picture of us."
















And suddenly, I recognized the photographer as our friend, Steve!


















And Steve also candidly captured Paul and Joe. I never cease to be amazed at Joe's height, how at the tender age of fifteen, he towers over the rest of the family.

















And John with Jack trailing behind.

















And here we all are rocking out in the sunshine!

















And last but certainly not least, Steve snapped this lovely photo of the beauty that surrounded us at Devil's Lake. The Lord has done marvels for us, indeed! He has given us the love of a family striving for holiness and happiness, the glories of nature, and time for rest and relaxation away from the daily grind so that we can catch our breath and appreciate His many gifts-and it is all LOVE!

Family Camping Blessings

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17
(View from the East Bluff at Devil's Lake State Park in Wisconsin about 5 PM-taken by my son John with his cell phone)

So often in life God sends us blessings, but we don't recognize them as such while they are occurring, it's only in retrospect that we realize the wonders that God has offered to us. Such is usually my experience regarding camping vacations, but fortunately, God opened my eyes early enough on my most recent camping trip so that I was able to recognize His blessings and enjoy them while they were happening.

Every September my family takes an annual camping trip to Devil's Lake State Park with some of our friends from church. As luck would have it, the weather turns cold and rainy and the ground is hard and rocky and I end up complaining that I will never camp again and wonder aloud why we don't just go hiking somewhere lovely during the day and then go home to our cozy beds at night. But my children enjoy camping, so every year I agree to the outing but am sure to include plenty of grumbling so that everyone knows how reluctant I am to camp. I do enjoy playing the role of suffering victim no matter how minor the suffering may be.

As a control-freak, I have a hard time taking even the shortest of weekend vacations fearing that the world will come to an end if I miss anything important while I am away. This year especially, I was reluctant to go camping because my friend, Fr. Christopher Klusman, suffered the loss of his father, and I had wanted to attend the funeral to offer him my comfort, (truthfully, it probably would have been me who would have received the most comfort from being there)but the funeral date conflicted with our camping schedule. Also, our parish held their annual picnic on the Sunday afternoon when we would be returning and I really had wanted to attend the picnic and celebrate with my family of faith instead of spending an afternoon unpacking and washing twenty loads of laundry. But the camping trip is our only annual family vacation so I sacrificed the other events and camping we went.

Our local Catholic Herald had a recent issue with a map of Shrines found in Wisconsin. One of the Shrines was very close to our campground and even though we have camped at that same park many times, I didn't know that the Shrine at Durward's Glen existed, so I was eager to pay a visit. As we drove our car off the little bit of Americana that is the Merrimac Ferry (Hwy. 113 ends at the Wisconsin River and the Merrimac Ferry carries the cars across to resume travel on the other side of the river where Hwy. 113 continues)we spotted a sign pointing to Durward's Glen so we made a quick side-trip before setting up camp, and as we were the only visitors to the Glen at that time, we enjoyed a peaceful and prayerful afternoon.

We found Durward's Glen to be a pristine area with a Mary, Mother of God Grotto, an outdoor chapel and a Stations of the Cross that led to a quaint cemetery and another chapel. Included in the Glen were several hiking trails throughout the wooded area. How lovely to begin our vacation in prayer in this natural setting! As we were hiking through the woods a big yellow dog came running down a hill towards us, giving us all a fright! My daughter Mary started running with the dog hot on her heels. At first we thought it was a wild coyote but she was soon joined by a little beagle and we saw that both of the dogs had collars so we assumed that they were local farm animals on a little natural escapade. The dogs quickly became attached to our family and stayed by our side on the entire walk. Joe decided to name them after my deceased parents so they were quickly dubbed "Grandpa and Grandma Reindl." It was hard to leave my parent's namesakes behind when it was time to go to the campground and the kids begged to keep them. Especially sad was the sight of the yellow dog as she chased our van down the highway while we drove away, trusting that the dogs would find their way back to their home and their rightful owners. (pictured: the hermitage at Durward's Glen-click here to visit Durward's Glen website)

Once we set up camp, it was a normal vacation-we enjoyed the company of our wonderful friends, the beauty of hiking around the ever-gorgeous Devil's Lake, the late night visits around the campfire, the expected frigid sleeping weather and the Sunday morning pack-up in the rain after an early morning Mass at the beautiful St. Joseph's Church in Baraboo. While we hate to attend Mass in our smoky-smelling camp clothes and could choose to attend Mass on Sunday evening when we're back home and cleaned up, we thoroughly enjoy worshiping God in such a lovely location and we feel that it adds holiness to our camping experience to make time for Sunday worship while we camp instead of putting prayer off until we're safely home.
And when we arrived home and had unpacked, my son Justin said, "Mom, I know that you don't like camping anymore and would rather not go, but thank you for taking us, because I had a really great time." How could I not agree to go again next year knowing that it means so much to my family? And, how greatly blessed I am to have teenagers who enjoy spending time with their parents!

Once the unpacking and clean-up was accomplished, we still had time to attend our parish picnic in the rain and arrived just in time to see Fr. Paul take his turn in the dunk-tank! There he was in his tee-shirt with the picture of Jesus on the front, sure that no one would dare to send Jesus under water, but he was wrong. Again and again, the children in line hit the target and that good sport Fr. Paul went down into the water surely accepting his frequent dunks as a sacrifice for the Lord! And, as a bonus to those parish staff members who sat in the tank after him, they now fell into "Holy Water" that had been blessed by the presence of the associate pastor!

We were also blessed to meet some friends who had been able to attend the funeral for Fr. Christopher's father who assured us that the funeral was well attended with over 21 priests including Fr. Christopher's graduating class and two bishops, so, of course, my friend was well comforted and my worries were for naught. But of course, I know that my prayers for him were well received even from the distance of my camping vacation.

This year's camping weekend will go down as one of the most memorable and prayerful that I have known. I will eagerly await next fall's camping trip knowing that my family and I will enjoy some time away in the beauty of nature with the company of good friends-all blessings from a good and generous God who loves us well and will care for all of those I love while allowing me a much-needed family vacation! God's blessings never end, and in our sorrow or our joy, in our work or in our rest, God is always there, loving us all so very well. I ask that you please keep Fr. Christopher Klusman and the soul of his father, Elmer, in your prayers: Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon him. May Elmer's soul, and all of the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace. Amen.