"I say to myself, I will not mention His name, I will speak in His name no more. But then, it becomes like a fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones, I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it." Jeremiah 20:7-10
Monday, April 26, 2010
Undercurrents
In this vast ocean of life, all I see is water, sky and the horizon in the distance. I search for God and signs of Him in my life, but He in not easily visible to me. He is in the undercurrents of my life, working just beneath the things that are easy to see.
He gently moves me back and forth, anchored in His love like a boat that is floating whichever way the waves take it. When I move ahead a short distance, He pulls me back as if to say, "Slow down, take your time, don't rush. I will always be here for you, there is no need to hurry."
It is so hard for me to allow God to move me at this slow pace. I want to advance quickly in His love. I want to see progress! It's so easy for me to become discouraged in this desolate ocean. I try to force my way by rowing with all my might, but God's undercurrent pulls me back and I know that it is not for me to decide the pace, God will determine when I am ready to move ahead.
Every once in a while, He sends me little signs of love to tell me that I am moving ahead in the right direction, that I am still on course. I need this encouragement from Him so that I don't drown in despair. In the darkness of the night, he sends the bright stars to shine for me to lead the way. The brightest star of all, Stella Maris, the Star of the Sea, inspires me to continue on the journey by her example of enduring light and love.
I will stay close to that bright star, and learn to trust in the Lord and relax in His love. Mary shows me the joy that comes from simply drifting on the Holy Waters, knowing that when I finally reach the shore, the peace that will consume me will make all of the trials of life at sea well worth it.
Anne, are you familiar with the litugical hymn, "Ave Maris Stella" sung at Vespers of Our Lady? I think you would like it. There's an English translation at: http://www.chantcd.com/lyrics/hail_star_sea.htm
ReplyDeleteAnne,
ReplyDeleteI'm another one who gets impatient waiting on God, I like to see progress too! The truth is that much of the progress is hidden in our souls but we can rest assured that the Holy Spirit is always at work. God love never stops perfecting us though the work may be hidden. In the meantime, we learn patience ;)
Beautiful thoughts! I'm a HUGE fan of Stella Maris, too. That icon is to die for ... fabulous!
ReplyDeleteHi Anne,
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to wait on God, isn't it? Sometimes we, well I do anyway, get so caught up in wanting to rush ahead that we forget that our heavenly Father knows all, and knows what is best for us. :D
I have visions of what I want to be doing for God, but He is also moving me at a slow pace. ;)
Have a wonderful week,
Love and blessings, Jillian ♥