In the Upper Room

It was several years ago that I was introduced to The Book of the Savior, a compilation of poetry and essays published by Frank Sheed and Maisie Ward in 1952.  The book is hard to find and I especially treasure my copy.  I've been reading it ever so slowly, perhaps an essay or poem each week, and have been savoring most of what I read.  One of the featured poets in the anthology, Charles O'Donnell, C.S.C., deeply moved me with his poem In the Upper Room.  A google search revealed very little about Fr. O'Donnell other than the fact that he had been the president of Notre Dame University from 1928-1934.  I don't know of anything else that he might have written.  But this, oh how it moves my heart!  Perhaps it moves yours, as well.

source

In the Upper Room

~ Charles O’Donnell, C.S.C.

What did you hear last night, your head on His breast there?

It was Peter in the dark supper-room

Asking of John,

Who with Mary, His Mother, was just returned

From burying Him.

I heard His blood moving like an unborn child,

And His heart crying.

I heard Him talking with His Father

And the Dove.

I heard an undertone as of the sea swinging, and a whispering at its centre.

I listened, and all the sound

Was a murmuring of names.

I heard my own name beating in His Blood,

And yours, Peter,

And all of you.

And I heard Judas,

And the names of all that have been

Or shall be to the last day.

And it was His Blood was calling out these names,

And they possessed His Blood.

Did you hear my name?

Asked a woman who was sitting at His Mother’s feet.

I heard your name, Mary of Magdala, and it was like a storm at sea

And the waves racing.

I heard Peter’s name,

And the sea broke, I thought, and ran over the world.

You heard then the name of Mary, His Mother, Peter said quietly, as he wept there, kneeling.

I did, and it was like the singing of winds and they moving over an ocean of stars, and every star like a hushed child sleeping.

Again Peter-

What of Iscariot?

I heard the tide come in and I felt the tide go out,

And I saw a dead man washed up on the shore.

And then John fell to weeping, and no one there could comfort him but only Mary, the Mother of Jesus, and he could tell them

No other word.

The Hiding Place

“In darkness God's truth shines most clear.”  ~Corrie ten Boom

“Dear Jesus...how foolish of me to have called for human help when You are here.”   ~Corrie ten Boom

My sisters and I are big on reading and sharing books, but when  Cindy put Corrie ten Boom's Her Story into my hands, I groaned.  Three volumes in one book, 497 pages, is one heavy reading list!  But she assured me that I'd love it and it didn't take long before I realized that she was right!

Corrie ten Boom was a Dutch Christian who was born and died on exactly the same date, April 15th, living 91 years, from 1892-1983. The first biography of the volume, The Hiding Place, tells the story of Corrie's experience during World War II, assisting Jews as they escaped from the Nazis, and eventually being captured, along with most of her family, and sent to prison camp.

Now I've read quite a few harrowing tales of WWII and concentration camps such as Elie Wiesel's Night, Etty Hillesum's The Interrupted Life, The Diary of Anne Frank, Franz Jagerstatter's In Solitary Witness, and Fr. Alfred Delp SJ's, Advent of the Heart. And I've read and studied many other stories of martyrs such as St. Maximilian Kolbe and heroes such as Irena Sendler, but this book moved me in an entirely different way than any of those.  Not only was I filled with horror for the terrors imposed upon humanity by the Nazis, and great admiration for those who defiantly fought against them while standing up for their beliefs and saving the lives of many, but through Corrie ten Boom's story, I found myself examining my conscience over and over again, and with each search of my heart, I found myself coming up woefully short of the beautiful ideals that Corrie and her family lived by in such dark times.

Growing up, Corrie ten Boom learned from the wisdom of her parents and siblings, and especially from her sister, Betsie, that Jesus and His love overcome every evil in the world.  Corrie was so moved by the example of her sister who kept a peaceful and loving countenance all while suffering in the concentration camp, that she went on to dedicate the remainder of her life to promote healing, not only for the Jews and others who suffered at the hands of the Nazis, but for the Nazis themselves, despite the difficulty she often struggled with in learning to forgive them for all of the harm they had done, causing her own suffering as well as the suffering of others.

It was hard to choose just one or two examples from the story that stood out enough to share here. The entire book was filled with heroic, loving situations!

I loved how her wise father gently talked her through her first and only heartbreak:  “Do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.  God loves Karel--even more than you do--and if you ask Him, He will give you His love for this man, a love nothing can prevent, nothing destroy. Whenever we cannot love in the old, human way, Corrie, God can give us his perfect way."

And he explained things to the young Corrie that were beyond her childish comprehension so beautifully:   “And so seated next to my father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is sexsin?"  He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case off the floor and set it on the floor.  Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.  I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.  It's too heavy," I said.  Yes," he said, "and it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you."

I was particularly moved by the description of how Corrie and her sister Betsie, while standing outside in the cold at attention while in the prison camp, would try to move to the inside of the group of women, where it was warmer. But then, chastising herself for her selfishness in disregarding the needs of the women on the outside of the group, Corrie allowed the other women to move to the center and selflessly stood on the cold edge herself.  Not many women would put others first in such a situation, and her explanation of how she brought herself to be so selfless is astounding:  “Oh, this was the great ploy of Satan in that kingdom of his: to display such blatant evil one could almost believe one's own secret sin didn't matter.” 

Corrie's sister Betsie was particularly saintly.  She gave very little thought to her own suffering, or even the plight of the other prisoners.  Her thoughts were purely focused on Christ and on bringing His love to her enemies, as evidenced in this description:  "We had arrived at the main camp at Vught.  "Betsie!" I wailed, "How long will it take?"  "Perhaps a long, long time.  Perhaps many years.  But what better way could there be to spend our lives?"  I turned to stare at her.  "Whatever are you talking about?"  "Corrie, if people can be taught to hate, they can be taught to love!  We must find the way, you and I, no matter how long it takes."  Slowly I took in the fact that she was talking about our guards and I wondered not for the first time what sort of person she was, this sister of mine." 

And when the guards struck Betsie on the neck, causing her to bleed from the red welt, she would not allow Corrie to feel pity for her.  "Don't look at it, Corrie.  Look at Jesus only."  Christ's suffering was at the forefront of Betsie and Corrie's thoughts at all times, despite their own sufferings.

I have never read about or encountered such deep faith, love and beauty. I pray that in my ordinary life, where it's doubtful that I will ever taste the deep despairing evil of a concentration camp,  that I will find the courage and fortitude to be as loving and grateful as Corrie ten Boom, despite any difficulties or hardships I may struggle through,believing that in God's hands, every situation will be used for good, for the building up of His kingdom and for His glory.  Like Corrie, I may struggle at first, but with the help of God, I will overcome the temptation to selfishness and will strive to love others in all circumstances, knowing that He resides and suffers in all of humanity, and by putting others first, I will be putting Him first.  What a wonder that kind of love and forgiveness could bring to this world, forgiveness as evidenced by Corrie's description of the time she met one of the guards after she had been released:  “Even as the angry vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him....Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness....And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives along with the command, the love itself.”  

If you've not yet read The Hiding Place, I highly recommend it.  Be prepared to be spiritually uplifted and challenged to grow in your faith.

The Betrothed

In Pope Francis' interview, A Big Heart Open to God, he shared the title of his favorite book, The Betrothed, by Alessandro Manzoni.  Regarding this book, the Pope shared:

“I have read The Betrothed, by Alessandro Manzoni, three times, and I have it now on my table because I want to read it again. Manzoni gave me so much. When I was a child, my grandmother taught me by heart the beginning of The Betrothed: ‘That branch of Lake Como that turns off to the south between two unbroken chains of mountains....’"  

That beginning line was enough to entice me, and so with the Pope's recommendation, I immediately requested the book from my favorite library, The Salzmann Library, at Saint Francis de Sales Seminary in Milwaukee.  Much to my joy, they were able to fill my order immediately.

The Betrothed, a work of historical fiction set in the early 1600's in and near Milan, Italy, is quite long at 537 pages, and it took me several weeks to complete, but they were weeks well spent in slowly relishing every word of Manzoni.  The tale of Renzo and Lucia, filled with love, betrayal, intrigue, suffering, conversion, and forgiveness was magnificent, and although so much of the story involved a tale of sorrow with a thorough description of the sufferings inflicted by the plague, the author was sure to include clever little sayings that brought a smile to my face, such as this comment regarding the failings of Bortolo, a minor character in the story:  "Perhaps you, reader, would prefer a more ideal Bortolo?  If so, then all  I can say is, make one up for yourself.  This one was like that."

Cardinal Federico Borromeo

By far, the highlight of the story came in the middle of the book, when the reader was introduced to Cardinal Federigo Borromeo, the cousin and successor of St. Charles Borromeo.   I couldn't help but see a great resemblance between the characteristics of Cardinal Borromeo and those of our own dear Pope Francis.  See if you don't notice the similarities yourself.  Here's Manzoni's description of Cardinal Borromeo:

 "Federigo considered alms-giving proper as a very first duty; and here, as in everything else, his actions were in accordance with his principles. His life was spent in continual lavishing of money on the poor...

This man's inexhaustible charity showed not only in his giving but in his whole bearing.  Easy of access to all, he felt it a special duty to have a pleasant smile and an affectionate courtesy towards those who are called the lower classes, particularly as they find so little of it in the world...

He was very rarely irritated, and was admired for the sweetness of his manner, and for his imperturbable  calm; this might be attributed to an unusually happy temperament, but was in fact the result of constant discipline over a disposition naturally lively and impulsive.  If there were times when he showed himself severe, even harsh, it was towards those of his subordinate clergy whom he found guilty of avarice or negligence or any other conduct opposed to the spirit of their noble ministry...

...this same modesty, this dislike of predominating over others, was equally apparent in the commonest occurrences of life.  Assiduous and indefatigable in organizing and disposing when he considered it his duty, he always avoided intruding in other people's affairs, and even did all that he could to avoid doing so when he was asked to; a discretion and restraint unusual, as everyone knows, in men zealous for good like Federigo."

I found The Betrothed to be greatly inspiring, causing me to desire to become more Christ-like and forgiving to those in my own life who have brought pain and sorrow to my days.  I highly recommend a slow and meditative reading of Manzoni's The Bethrothed , so that, like Pope Francis, you too, may claim it to be one of your favorite literary works.

The Ear of the Heart: An Actress' Journey From Hollywood to Holy Vows-A Book Review

 I'm not one who carefully follows the Hollywood gossip that revolves around the lives of famous actors and actresses, but I understand from the news stories that do capture my attention that  the lives of the rich and famous are often filled with self-interest and leave very little room for God.  Of course, there are beautiful exceptions, and Mother Delores Hart is one of them.

I had never heard of Delores Hart until Lisa Wheeler from Carmel Communications offered me the opportunity to read and review the book, The Ear of the Heart:  An Actress' Journey From Hollywood to Holy Vows, by Mother Delores Hart, O.S.B. and Richard DeNeut, about how a beautiful actress gave up a life of fame and riches, that of a Hollywood and Broadway actress, to completely devote herself to Christ as a cloistered Benedictine nun.

The idea of a woman giving up earthy wealth and fame, letting go of her passion for the one thing in life that she loved and in which she excelled, acting, to completely devote herself to God, tucked away in a cloistered convent, was very intriguing to me, and so I eagerly agreed to read and review The Ear of the Heart.

The book is quite lengthy at over 400 pages and I felt that a lot of the details could have been omitted without losing any of the flavor of this inspiring story.  The anecdotes of the many famous people who impacted her life was interesting, but I was most intrigued by the glimpes of how God Himself was making an impact on this young woman.  The fact that Delores, while not raised Catholic, attended Catholic Schools and converted at a very young age, and made her own way to weekly Mass without her family, was quite remarkable.  I was most captivated by the details of how God was calling Mother Delores'  to monastic life at Regina Laudis Monastery, for which she would ultimately eschew the Hollywood lifestyle and the promise of marriage, to give herself entirely over to God in a drastic entry into cloistered life. 

As the story moved to Mother Delores' entry into Regina Laudis Monastery, I became more completely engrossed.  To get an inside view of monastic life-the work, the liturgy of the hours, the relationships between the sisters, and the power of obedience-was delightfully eye-opening.   I was moved by the fact that she cried herself to sleep every night for the first three years, and although others with whom she entered the monastery had left, Mother Delores stayed and worked through the many and varied challenges of monastic life with the help of God. 

Some quotes that particularly captivated me were:

"Mother Dorcas Roselund, in describing the pitfalls of monastic life, summed it up another way.  A gastroenterologist before she entered Regina Laudis, she is now the community's baker.  Life in the monastery is "the new martyrdom," she said.  "They used to throw Christians to the lions.  Now they make us live together."

"Here were women with courage to follow an invisible love in a coffin of seclusion from the world.   They follow with no obvious support to the brink of the unknown, there to set fire to a perpetual lamp of love."

"Our daily schedule is never interrupted.  Work has to be done.  Animals have to be fed.  We have to stay here and pray and believe that we can help by doing so.  It requires discipline and clarity about what your mission is and where your body needs to be, where it can do the most good."

I found The Ear of the Heart, An Actress' Journey From Hollywood to Holy Vows to be an intense look into the life of a very human woman striving for holiness by giving up all that she loved and all that she could have achieved in the world, to use her many gifts for the glory of God, and in doing so, found a joy beyond human comprehension.  It was an uplifting read!
 
The Ear of the Heart is available through Ignatius Press.

Laziness-The Original Sin

I'm always easily suggestible, especially when it comes to books, so when Fr. Jim Kubicki, SJ, the National Director of the Apostleship of Prayer, began his talk on Heroic Catholicism by mentioning the book The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, and specifically mentioned that what was so interesting about it was that it began with three little words, "Life is difficult", my interest was piqued and it was off to the Salzmann Library at St. Francis de Sales Seminary to pick up a copy.

Now The Road Less Traveled is not a religion book, it's a psychology book, with four sections explaining how to deal with this difficult life:  Discipline, Love, Religion and Grace.  Dr. Peck shares stories of his past patients and how he helped them cope with their neuroses and psychoses.  I admit that at several points I felt as though he was really writing about me personally and maybe I should put the book down and head over to my nearest psychoanalyst to spend some time laying down on his couch and letting him analyze just what it is about me that makes me so neurotic.   And when I came to the section on religion where he speaks about a woman whose entire problems stemmed from the fact that her mother made her go to Mass and follow the teachings of the Catholic Church I thought that maybe I'd better bring all of my children along with me on that visit to the psychoanalyst's couch.  After all, they surely will all be headed there in the future anyway since I also make my children go to Mass and follow the teachings of the Catholic Church.  Why not save time and energy and just take them there now before I mess them up too much?

You'd think that since I do most of my reading while getting my daily exercise on the elliptical machine, with headphones blasting classic rock or current pop songs into my ears, that it would be hard for me to really get much benefit or understanding out of the books I read, but when I got to the section on Grace, Dr. Peck's words got through to me loud and clear.  I found his ideas about the opposite of love to be fascinating.  In his opinion, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's laziness.

Regarding Adam and Eve and original sin he says:

"The key issue lies in what is missing.  The story suggests that God was in the habit of "walking in the garden in the cool of the day" and that there were open channels of communication between Him and man.  But if this was so, then why was it that Adam and Eve, separately or together, before or after the serpent's urging, did not say to God, "We're curious as to why You don't want us to eat any of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.  We really like it here, and we don't want to seem ungrateful, but Your law on this matter doesn't make sense to us, and we'd really appreciate it if you explained it to us"?  But of course they did not say this.  Instead they went ahead and broke God's law without ever understanding the reason behind the law, without taking the effort to challenge God directly, question His authority or even communicate with Him on a reasonably adult level.  They listened to the serpent, but they failed to get God's side of the story before they acted.

Why this failure?  Why was no step taken between the temptation and the action?  It is this missing step that is the essence of sin.  The step missing is the step of debate.  Adam and Eve could have set up a debate between the serpent and God, but in failing to do so they failed to obtain God's side of the question.  The debate between the serpent and God is symbolic of the dialogue between good and evil which can and should occur within the minds of human beings.  Our failure to conduct-or to conduct fully and wholeheartedly-this internal debate between good and evil is the cause of those evil actions that constitute sin.  In debating the wisdom of a proposed course of action, human beings routinely fail to obtain God's side of the issue.  They fail to consult or listen to the God within them, the knowledge of rightness which inherently resides within the minds of all mankind.  We make this failure because we are lazy.  It is work to hold these internal debates.  They require time and energy just to conduct them.  And if we take them seriously-if we seriously listen to this "God within us"-we usually find ourselves being urged to take the more difficult path, the path of more effort rather than less.  To conduct debate is to open ourselves to suffering and struggle.  Each and every one of us, more or less frequently, will hold back from this work, will also seek to avoid this painful step.  Like Adam and Eve, and every one of our ancestors before us, we are all lazy.

So original sin does exist; it is our laziness.  It is very real...laziness takes forms other than that related to one's responsibilities to others.  A major form that laziness takes is fear...Adam and Eve can again be used to illustrate this.  One might say, for instance, that it was not laziness that prevented Adam and Eve from questioning God as to the reasons behind His law but fear-fear in the face of the awesomeness of God, fear of the wrath of God.  But while all fear is not laziness, much fear is exactly that....So it is quite probable that Adam and Eve were afraid of what might happen to them if they were to openly question God; instead they attempted to take the easy way out, the illegitimate shortcut of sneakiness, to achieve knowledge not worked for, and hope they could get away with it.  But they did not."

Dr. Peck's reasoning makes sense to me, and it reminded me of Archbishop Fulton Sheen's poem, "Complain!" that I recently shared here on this blog, because both Dr. Peck's idea and Fulton Sheen's poem encourage complaining to God, not others, whenever we are troubled, unhappy or indecisive.  We should take our concerns to God alone and then silently wait for His answer.  That the silent waiting may take days, weeks, months or years, it doesn't matter.  The point is that God's will for our lives will always be made known to us if we are only willing to do the hard work of asking God, "What do You want from me?  Why did You allow this suffering to take place in my life?  How can I use this experience for Your glory?  What is Your will for this situation and for all of my life?"  And then wait in humble and quiet anticipation for His answer to be revealed to us through the people and events of our lives.

Letters to Jackie

I recently spent some time helping a friend organize his magnificent library of books, which includes a large historical section, when he came across the book Letters to Jackie, Condolences From a Grieving Nation in the stacks.  Knowing that I love to read personal letters, and having enjoyed it very much himself, he handed it to me and invited me to read it.  I am so grateful for that invitation because this book was fascinating!  And despite the fact that this was not the type of book that I typically read, that is, a spiritual book, I found that I was compelled to frequently stop and prayerfully ponder what I had read  more than I would normally do with most spiritual reading.

According to author Ellen Fitzpatrick, Jackie Kennedy received 800,000 condolence letters in the two months that followed President Kennedy's assassination on November 22nd, 1963, and within two years that amount reached over 1.5 million.  Most of the letters remained unread until 2010 when Ellen Fitzpatrick began to sort through them for this book.  After choosing 250 of the 200,000 pages of letters that are still stored in the National Archives to include in this collection, she then began the work of contacting the letter writers and includes a brief biography of each of the people who took the time to pen a note of sympathy to the former First Lady.  The result is a timely look at the compassionate heart of the American people.

Included in this collection of letters are the stories of the poor, the racially oppressed, veterans of war, widows who could personally empathize with Jackie's loss, those who voted for JFK as well as those who did not, those who loved him because of his Catholic faith and those who disliked him because of it, the elderly, the sick and even children.

Here is a segment of my favorite letter.  It was written by an 8th grade student at a Catholic Grade School in California:

"Dear Mrs. Kennedy,

...On the morning of November 22nd, our school of 750 pupils were at a requiem Mass for all the deceased of parish.  At the beginning of the Mass, we were told that our beloved president was shot.  I tried to tell myself he would be all right but somehow I knew he wouldn't.  I tried to control myself as I had to play the church organ but the tears wouldn't stop.  The slightly damp keys were hard to play but I offered it up that the President might live.

Though we didn't know it then but while 750 children with tear-streaked faces and slightly reddened eyes were receiving Holy Communion, the 35th President of the United States went to his eternal reward in heaven...."

Each letter is deeply touching, the writers sharing their personal experience of what President Kennedy had meant to them as well as how the loss of his life had caused them deep grief.  A common message was that of gratitude for the strong and brave countenance that the First Lady maintained during her entire experience of national and personal grief.

With the presidential elections only a few short days away, it seems like the perfect time to look back upon this tragic and important time in American history and to recall that regardless of the outcome of this election we are all united as Americans, we all share a common love for our country, and we are all created with a deep capacity for love and goodness.

In light of the upcoming election, I urge you to read these brilliantly written columns by Archbishop Listecki and Bishop Hying regarding the importance of voting for a candidate that will uphold the dignity of life and the value of religious freedom which can be found at these links:

Vote for Culture of Life by Archbishop Listecki

What is at Stake in the 2012 Presidential Election by Bishop Hying