The Language of Love with Fr. Tim Kitzke

Fr. Tim Kitzke at Roses for Our Lady's May Crowning

On May 20th, his 26th anniversary to the priesthood, Fr. Tim Kitzke, the pastor of four parishes (including 7 churches), spiritual advisor for many groups within the Archdiocese of Milwaukee, and newly appointed Vicar General of the City of Milwaukee, a role in which he hopes to bring peace and hope to the city which has been beleaguered by violence, came to speak to the de Chantal Society at Saint Francis de Sales Seminary.   The de Chantal Society is led by Susan McNeil of the Nazareth Project and Lisa Brielmaier of Saint Francis de Sales Seminary, and their mission is to "spiritually form and inspire Catholic women who, like St. Jane de Chantal, are integral to families, vocations and the Catholic Church."  Following thirty minutes of silent Eucharistic adoration, Fr. Tim's talk was lively and inspiring and within it he gave us three challenges for the spiritual life.

The Language of Love by Fr. Tim Kitzke

Fr. Tim said that whenever he's preparing a homily or a talk, the Lord gives him little signs to help him in his preparation, and recently these signs came through a little girl, Magdalena, or Lena, for short, who accompanies her mother  when she meets Fr. Tim for spiritual direction.  

Peacemakers

Fr. Tim said that his office is not child-friendly, and in it he has a large portrait of Our Mother of Perpetual Help that is on the floor leaning against the wall.  When Madgalena was a toddler and was learning how to crawl she used that picture of Our Mother of Perpetual Help to hold onto as she was learning to stand.  Fr. Tim, feeling nervous about the picture, told himself, "Tim, it's just a thing, let it go."  And the next thing he saw was little Lena looking at the image on the painting, and then she took her pacifier out of her mouth and tried to put it into baby Jesus' mouth!  He said this was a great symbol!  We're supposed to be pacifiers if we're living the language of love.

When Jesus ascends to heaven it's not to leave us as orphans, but so that we can take our proper role.   If Jesus were still here living in the world and walking among us, we wouldn't want to be listening to Fr. Tim, he wouldn't have a job. We'd be sitting at the feet of Christ, hanging on to His every word. But because Jesus ascended, we have to become peacemakers.  It's our first challenge. 

If you say that you love Jesus Christ, then you have to find peace in your heart before that peace can go out to others.  We have so much to worry about-the world, the Church, our children-but Jesus wants us to pray first of all for real peace to begin in our own hearts.  We have to find peace so that we can be peace and then we can find ways to pacify the world.

Open Doors

source

After Lena tired of sharing her pacifier with Jesus, she went to every door and tried to push it open.  That's our second challenge.  We're to open doors for others, and whatever door you open, open it wide.  We have a tendency, like the disciples, to stay behind locked and closed doors for fear.  But we need to engage, to open up our hearts to possibility.  Fear is paralyzing.  It closes our heart off.  There's an old Portuguese Proverb that says:  "A life lived in fear is a life half-lived."

Our demons come and they wake us up in the middle of the night causing us to lose sleep.  You have to cast out fear and get rid of whatever is demonic in your life.   Name your demons.  Give them a name  For example, there's the demon of self-loathing. Ask him to please leave.  And then pray to St. Michael the Archangel for his help.  Think about our baptismal promises.  Do you reject Satan?  The demonic powers have personal power.  They know the chinks in our armor and they know what will set us off into tailspins of fear.  We have to open the doors of our house to grace and peace.

Think of Jesus facing the demon in the desert, and in death, and when he descended into hell.  Why did Jesus have to go to hell?  One thought is that he had to face the devil in his own territory as an example to the disciples.  Another thought is that he went to hell because he was looking for Adam and Eve.  He had to go to the lowest part of hell to find them because they started this mess.  And there he found Adam with apple juice caked on his chin and Eve with tears crusted over her bereft eyes.  He tells them, "You weren't created for this.  Come with Me now."

When you wake up in the middle of the night tormented by demons, go to the medicine cabinet, and after you get over the shock of seeing yourself in the mirror, tell yourself, "You weren't created for this."

Use the Keys

After Lena found that pushing on the doors wasn't going to open them, she dumped out her mother's purse, found the keys and took them to the doors and tried to use them to unlock the doors.  Like Lena, we have the keys, it's the Church.  The Lord said to Peter, you are the rock and upon you I will build my Church.  We are challenged to use the keys of the Church to open and release fear, doubt, and anxiety.

Read holy scripture, pray the rosary or other devotions, spend quiet time in front of the Blessed Sacrament, go to Mass twenty minutes early or stay twenty minutes after Mass to pray.  Spiritual reading and coming to the de Chantal Society are also keys that will help us to live a spiritual life.  These are the keys that will help us to face the devil in battle.

Facing Failure

When Lena found that the doors were still locked and that her mother's keys didn't open them, she threw them down and jumped into her mother's lap.  Like Lena, we're going to face failure in the spiritual life.  We're going to obsess and face difficulties.  But the spiritual life is not a matter of success.  It's a matter of fidelity.  Half of life is just showing up!  So sometimes we just have to jump into our Mother's lap-into the arms of the Church and our Mother Mary's arms.  Yes, sometimes you will fail, but learn the language of "I kept trying." Sometimes you have to just let go and trust.  Faith is often a walk in the dark.

Fr. Tim said that after 26 years of the priesthood he's discovered that the more you let go, the better it is.  Somehow God works things out.  That's why we call it the mystery of grace. God will write straight with the crooked lines of our lives.

Realize that there have been people who have gone before you that know the way.  The saints give us an example and encouragement.  Aren't we lucky as Roman Catholics to have the saints?  We have a body of witnesses to walk with us.  They have a ladder of love that will take us to heaven.  

What the World Needs Now

Fr. Tim shared a story about his mother and how, in her last years on earth, he and his three siblings would all go to take care of her in her home.  They would clean her house, do the laundry and cook for her.  Fr. Tim went every Monday but one week his sister filled in for him.  The next week he asked his mom who cleaned better and his mom told him that he did.  So he called his sister to brag and she said, "That's odd because mom told me that I clean better!"  So Fr. Tim went back to his mom and asked her why she told both of them that they clean the best and she replied, "Oh Timmy, I only tell you what you need to hear!"

We all need to hear that we are loved unconditionally and irreplaceably.  As  St. Augustine says, God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us and He wants to help you.  Bask in the love of God.

If we take this seriously we can learn a new language, the language of love.  Or, as Fr. Tim has been frequently saying in his homilies and talks, what this world needs now is love, sweet love.

The next de Chantal Society meets on November 18th and 19th, 2015 at Saint Francis de Sales Seminary, 3257 S. Lake Drive in Milwaukee, with Bishop Richard Sklba.  The hour of adoration, benediction and spiritual formation is always followed by a wine and cheese or coffee and cake social.  It's a wonderful time for women to be uplifted and to visit with old friends, as well as to make new friends.  Visit their website here for more information.

Where Are You, God?

"And about the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. He meant to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the sea they thought it was a ghost, and cried out."~Mark 45:48-49

I can go through most of my busy days feeling confident in the presence of God.  I focus on the task at hand realizing that my work is a gift from God and I am returning that gift by using my time and my skills wisely.  I  intermittently pause to thank God for the smile of a baby, the embrace of my daughter, a glorious sunrise, a listening friend, or a hearty meal.  I am sure that He is with me in my sorrows and struggles, using these to draw me into a deeper dependence upon His grace regardless of how hard I might fight Him for a life of ease.  And so for the most part, life is good, isn't it?

But at night the torment begins.  I often fight my way through sleepless nights as anxiety about work to be done, problems left unsolved and my own sinfulness play havoc in my heart.  I lay awake and ask God, "Where are you?  Why can't I feel your comforting touch, your loving presence?  Why do I feel so alone, so unloved, so miserable?"  And the silence of a household peacefully asleep echoes depressingly in my heart.

I was recently struck by the Gospel passage from Mark 6:45-52 about the disciples struggling through a storm while out on the water.  There they were, doing what Jesus had told them to do, that is, get into the boat and head toward Bethsaida, and they end up caught in a big storm.  They feared for their very lives and rightly so for they were in grave danger.  And suddenly they see Jesus, who, we are told, meant to pass by them.  When I first considered that, it really bothered me.  Why would Jesus mean to pass them by?  Why wouldn't he go to them and help them immediately?  When I am feeling the storms of life and agonize over it during many slumberless nights, is Jesus simply passing by without stopping to help and is that why I suffer so much distress, I wondered?  But then I read this awesome explanation by Geoff Thomas at St. Alfred's Baptist Church in the UK and this passage made so much sense to me:

"We are told, "He was about to pass by them" (v.48). You might think that that meant Jesus was going to continue with his stroll across the lake passing by the boat, but that phrase in the Old Testament is charged with meaning. It is found where God makes himself known in an awesome appearance to his people. The men who led his work were fearful and uncertain about the future, and then God comes and he passes by them. There was an occasion at Mount Horeb the Lord "passed by" the prophet Elijah in the wind and the earthquake and the fire, and then in a still small voice spoke to him (I Kings 19:11). It lifted Elijah out of his suicidal frame. Again, before that, at Mount Sinai the same Lord in his glory passed by Moses at a time of perplexity in his life (Ex. 33:22), in order to reassure and reveal God's name. We are told, "He passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, 'The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin'" (Ex. 6&7). This same God is here passing by his troubled servants on the lake. That is why the Lord Jesus came walking on the water.

Our Creator, so majestic and awesome, there revealed himself to John and James and Peter and Andrew and the rest. Jehovah Jesus went passing by the towns of Galilee, and it was sight to the blind. "Jehovah Jesus is passing by!" and it was cleansing for the leper. "Jehovah Jesus is passing by!" and the deaf could hear. "Jehovah Jesus is passing by!" and the dead were raised. And to the men in the boat Jehovah Jesus came passing by and it was courage for fear, and peace for terror. His walking on the water was a revelation of that glory of God which he shared with the Father and with the Spirit. Mark is showing us that Jesus Christ who planted his footsteps in the sea is the incarnate Lord."  (source:read it all-it's fantastic!)

And as I lay awake fretting and worrying and wondering where God was in my anxiety, I realized that although I couldn't see Him or feel Him, He was most definitely passing by and I was not alone.  And I settled down and listened to my husband breathing deeply as he slept beside me and I realized, here was God, nestled within the heart of my husband, quietly showing me that peace was possible, that I had only to reach over and embrace Paul as he slept and I would be feeling the heart of God within him.  I had only to quiet my mind and allow the rhythms of my breath to fall in line with Paul's and I would soon discover the peace of a quiet sleep and my anxiety would be calmed.

Yes, Jesus had passed by me in my storm and, hearing my cries of distress, reached out to me in my need and I could almost hear him say, "Take courage!  It is I.  Don't be afraid."  (Mark 45:50) as He got into my boat with me and calmed my troubled soul.

"Be still and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10

Largo

"Tender and beautiful fronds of my beloved plane tree, let Fate smile upon you.  May thunder, lightning, and storms never bother your dear peace, nor may you by blowing winds be profaned.  A shade there never was, of any plant, dearer and more lovely, or more sweet."  ~from Handel's Largo

Advent can sure be crazy sometimes, can't it?  We're supposed to be quietly waiting for the coming of the Lord; it should be a solemn time of peace and stillness, but in fact, it is often the exact opposite.  We often find ourselves with too much to do, too much to eat and too much to spend.  Nothing quite spells stress like Christmas preparations!

My advent stress levels have been at an all-time high so far this year and I have spent too much time fretting instead of patiently praying for peace.  After an incredibly busy morning at work, I left for my lunch break walk a bit  later than usual and was startled by the snap of cold that met me when I stepped outside!  I wrapped my scarf a little more tightly around my neck and increased the pace of my footsteps.  When I reached Gesu Church, just three blocks from my office, I saw that they had a sign outside advertising a mid-day organ concert and the doors to the magnificent upper church were open, so I snuck inside to warm up and check it out.  I was the only one there! It turns out that I had stumbled upon a private concert just for me!

 I was just finishing my rosary when the organ swelled with sound and I heard the strains of Largo, an old favorite from my childhood.  I could just picture my sister Cindy with her chestnut brown curls sitting at the piano, fingers poised in perfect position, practicing Largo over and over again while my mom oversaw the practice session from her nearby Husqvarna Sewing Machine where she worked on our family mending.  I was awash in the comfort of pleasant, long-forgotten memories.

It's funny how God always seems to find a way to bring peace to our hearts when we are most in need, and He does it in such unexpected ways!  I never would have imagined that listening to Largo in a grand and empty church on a blustery December day would have brought peace to my frazzled heart, but it did!  And at that moment, I understood that God is in complete control of my life, just as He has always been, and I can let go of the worry and let God handle things in His own way and in His own time.  God is always good and I am very grateful!

Maybe you'd enjoy finding a few moments of calm by listening to the peaceful sounds of Largo yourself?  If so, you will find a lovely version here.

Turn to Beauty

The ugliness of a day
gone wrong
hangs heavy upon my soul.

I long to push the memory
to the depths of my mind
where it should spoil and rot.

But shame has mighty power
it's own
so far from my self-control.

Lurid and lingering details
return to haunt me still;
overcome them I cannot.

I carry the weight and sink
in sin;
distant is my peace-filled goal.

He invites me to come to Him
and bring as gift all the
dark in which I am so caught.

Then He speaks words so tender;
His love
returns my heart back to whole.

The ugly turns to beauty
and I will cope and thrive.
See what His great love has wrought?

Rebellion

"It is my wish, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands, without anger or argument." 1 Timothy 2:8

This morning at Mass I stood at the ambo proclaiming the first reading from 1 Timothy 2:1-8, and I was distracted and dismayed by the fact that someone had rebelliously taken a pencil and crossed out some of the words in the very last line of the scripture and wrote politically correct terminology above them. Had I followed the suggested change, I would have read "all" instead of "the men." I stuck to the original text, a bit disturbed that the lectionary of holy words had been tampered with. Maybe to some, I would have been seen as the rebellious one for following the words as they originally appeared.

It got me thinking, though, about the nature of rebellion and how we all go through it at one point or another, don't we? At some point, we believe that we are indisputably right and justified in our behavior, in turning our backs against tradition and the status quo, against rules and regulations, in favor of going our own way, however misguided that way may be.

I was recently approached by a young man who called me by name and began to visit with me. I had no idea who he was. Too embarrassed to admit the fact that I didn't know him, I tried to tease his identity out of him with various statements and questions such as:

"Wow! You look great! I wouldn't have recognized you!"
"Where are you going to school now?"
"Do you play football? Basketball?"

No luck. I still couldn't place him. To my great fortune he asked me about one of my sons. Finally, a clue!!! And then I remembered seeing his mother a bit earlier and realized that his was her son and I was able to converse easily with him.

Later that night at the dinner table, I shared this story with my family and mentioned what a fine young man this boy appeared to be. My sons just shook their heads in dismay at my words and they conveyed to me that this "fine young man" was well known these days for his use of drugs.

It's so sad to me that more and more often our dinner table discussions revolve around my son's former grade school friends who have succumbed to a life of partying which includes drugs, alcohol and sex, and stories of violent fighting in the high school where rarely a day goes by that they don't witness someone throwing punches and profanities as if it were candy being tossed from a float in a parade.

All of this rebellion causes so much pain and although I don't have any answers, I know that there is much good hidden beneath the struggling facade of teenage life, and I clearly believe that the young man with whom I recently spoke is a good boy and God will bring him around to sanctity once he gets past the rebellion. But I am also deeply struck by how blessed I am that the tragedies caused by teenage rebellion have escaped my family so far and I am determined to hold my children closely in gratitude for their goodness and pray that it will continue.

And for the rest of us, let's join the men of whom St. Paul speaks by lifting our hands in prayer until we can get past the anger and the arguments of rebellion and can finally live in peace with one another and with ourselves.

"Be at peace with your own soul, then heaven and earth will be at peace with you."
~Saint Jerome

Winter Winds and Inner Peace

While on my knees
in adoration of the Blessed Lord
I heard the winter winds
swirl viciously
around the chapel.
They whistled and howled and
did their best to come inside
through any slight
crack in the stained glass windows,
but to no avail.
The wind stayed out.
Inside the chapel there was nothing
but peaceful bliss with the Lord.









I want to be like that adoration chapel.
Let the vicious winds of life
swirl all around me.
Nothing will ever come inside to disturb
my inner peace
because the Lord is there
and with Him,
all is bliss.