Thursday, July 25, 2013

Fr. Jan Kieliszewski-Rest in Peace

Last week, on a day with particularly beautiful weather, I decided to hang the wash on the line in the backyard.  For some reason, as I was pinning the clothes to the line, I was overcome with melancholy, a deep sadness that was very familiar to me from my past experience with depression.  The sorrow seared deep within me and I had no idea where it came from or what it was about.  There was absolutely no reason on earth why I should be feeling so down at that particular moment.  I went inside and wrote an email to a friend asking for prayers.

As I hit the "send" button, my daughter Mary came downstairs, and with her 12 years of sweetness, she threw her arms around my neck and embraced me for the longest time.  I asked her how she knew that I needed a hug at that particular moment and she simply said, "I could just feel it."  I knew that my daughter and her loving, impulsive action was an immediate answer to that prayer request I sent out.  My daughter is a joyful Godsend in my life.  But not everyone is blessed with a daughter who intuitively knows when they are needing a little extra love.

Last year in my candidacy for the Oblates of the Precious Blood, I corresponded monthly with Mother Marietta from the Handmaids of the Precious Blood.  In one particular letter she told me that if I ever feel tempted to something that was very unusual for me, I could know that at that particular moment, a priest somewhere in the world was being tempted with the same thing, and I should pray for him.  My struggling to overcome the things that tempt me can help priests in their temptations.  That's a powerful thought; that I could help a priest that I may never know to grow in holiness by offering up my sacrifices for him.

Last weekend, just before Sunday Mass was to begin, Fr. Jan Kieliszewski, a priest whom I did not know here in Milwaukee, committed suicide in his church.  No one in the Archdiocese can offer any explanation as to why this man, in his mid-sixties, who gave his life over to the service of the Lord and His Church, would have taken his life.  It was shocking and deeply sad news that has rocked our already distressed Archdiocese.

I can't help but wonder if I had offered up my melancholy on that recent laundry day if it would it have helped this priest in some way?  What if, in that moment when sorrow hit me hard, I would have remembered to tell God, "I give you this pain for the priest who most needs your help at this moment, for a priest who is feeling the pangs of despair" if that might have prompted Fr. Jan to reach out for help and thereby find a way to stay alive until God naturally called him home?

Of course, I'll never know the answer to that question.  But as an Oblate of the Precious Blood, I am committed to praying for priests, to offering all that I am for their sanctity, and if I didn't pray enough for priests before Fr. Jan's suicide, I am committed to praying for them more than ever now.  And I am committed to lightening their load by offering them loving encouragement and gratitude, and helping them in their valuable and necessary work in any small or large way that I can.

Fr. Jan's name was on the Monthly Prayer Request for Priests calendar on June 18th, and all of Milwaukee was asked to pray for him on that day.  My family and I did our part and we prayed for him, as we pray daily for every priest on the calendar when we gather as a family for dinner.  And now, I will be praying for Fr. Jan's soul every day for the rest of my life, as well as for the souls of all priests, those living, as well as those deceased.  Will you join me, and pray for priests as well?  May Fr. Jan, through the mercy of God, rest in peace, eternally embraced in the ever-loving arms of his Father.

15 comments:

  1. Anne, this is heartbreaking. When I read this, I knew God is calling me to ramp up my prayers for Priests. My 'method' is to remember them during our morning Rosary. Can you suggest something that would be more effective? One Hail Mary in a decade of the Rosary seems inadequate in light of this post.

    Thank you for your beautiful blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary Ellen, thank you for your offer to pray! The Monthly Prayer Request for Priests has a nice listing of prayers you could pray: https://sites.google.com/site/mprpmilwaukeewi/more-prayer-resources-and-links/daily-prayer

      Also, there is a wonderful resource that will send out free books of rosary meditations for priests and for vocations that might help in your prayer: http://prayingforourpriests.org/

      Delete
    2. Anne, thank you for the links. I much prefer these prayers than any I could come up with on my own.

      They are lovely.

      Delete
  2. Thank you for sharing this vey tragic story and also remind me to offer my dark days and temptations for priests who are going through the same. Bless you Anne

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your example of prayer is beautiful and influencing. I will begin praying better and more for our priests. I am so touched by offering up your suffering and all your loving encouragement and support of priests everywhere. May Fr. Jan be at peace and well prayed for. Thank you for your prayers...I will pray for you and your wonderful family...God Bless...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cynthia, thanks for prayer for Fr. Jan and for all priests. Thanks for the beautiful witness to peace you offer through your heavenly poetry.

      Delete
  4. I will join you in praying for Fr. Jan, Anne. Stories like these tug at my heart.

    It sounds as if you had a "prayer burden" in the backyard. This happens to me also.

    God bless!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the prayers for Fr. Jan, Mary. Your words about a "prayer burden" have been weighing on my mind and heart all day. I'm sure you're right; it's a good description of how I felt. Your post on prayer burdens was excellent. I learn so much from you!

      Delete
    2. thank you for calling us to jeremiah to be read, understood, and shared with others. father jan came to my dying fathers beside for months upon months and gave my mother inspiration and his beloved blessings through Gods work. and this is how i will remember father jan in my prayers. God be with us all.

      Delete
    3. Dear Anonymous,

      Please accept my sympathy for your personal loss of Fr. Jan in your life, as well as for the loss of your father. What a beautiful memory you have of Fr. Jan caring for your parents! Thank you for sharing it! Know of my prayers for you.

      Delete
  5. Anne, I learned of a new problem today, one which affects my son, and all I can do is pray. I had been feeling pretty stressed and sad about it, and then I read this post. Thank you. I have offered up my suffering for priests, and prayed for Father Jan. As soon as I read your post, I knew the Lord had sent me here at this moment, so that I would not waste this cross. I love the Communion of Saints...and you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Patricia,

      You are so sweet! Thank you for your kind words! And thank you especially for praying for Fr. Jan and for all priests. Offering up our sufferings is so hard, but it's made so heavenly when we realize the good that can come from it. I attended Fr. Jan's funeral last night. It was an honor for me to be there, praying with so many of his friends and so many of his brother priests. It seems he suffered greatly here on earth. I pray that in God's mercy, his pain is no more.

      Delete
  6. This was very beautiful to read, Thank You for your prayers. I am his Niece ClaireAnne and he is in my thoughts daily. Today especially I am very emotional about it so Googled him just to look at his picture but was instantly drawn to your article, Thank You, so many people adored him, as did I.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear ClaireAnne, I am so sorry for you and the loss of your dear uncle. I'm glad that you found a little comfort in my words. Please know that I continue to pray for Fr. Jan every day, and for you and your family as well. May you find peace in the Heart of Christ who loves you so well.

      Delete