Wednesday, September 7, 2011
I give my life over to God until I'm blurred in the works and jumbled in the words and worn down from the doing. I wonder, does God answer prayer? Do my words set down through my fingers into a keyboard really matter? What is the meaning behind all of this, anyway?
And I get answers streaming across the miles-sweet and thoughtful answers through the web of the world from as far away as England and from as close as six blocks away in the beauty of my friend Danette standing on my doorstep with a gift in hand-a gift of words-We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned in order to live the life that is waiting for us. (ER Forester) I share a moment with my friend, Fr. Jim, who reminds me that taking a step back in prayer can be more powerful than all of the works we do. Those works might be good and holy but they might also keep us from God if they overtake our prayer time. And those answers from friends near and far enter into my heart and I feel loved and needed and encouraged and strengthened. And I know that God does answer prayer, that my words do matter and that my life does have meaning.
I had asked God to erase me and He shows me how he has already done that-through your words. You write-"I understand how you feel, I feel that way, too, sometimes, but please don't stop writing your experience of God, even when that experience brings you pain, even when you can't feel Him, even in your dark-please write."
I arise each morning offering my day to God, giving him my works, thoughts and prayers for His glory. And I remember that each time I set out to write it is a prayer and God does always answer prayers, including my most recent prayer.
I am erased. It's not about me-it's about you.
It's about you and your love for God, your need for God. We all feel it. I am not just a series of written words on a computer screen. I am a funnel and God pours His love through me into you. And you...you are a chalice, golden and beautiful, meant to contain Him, to hold Him and to carry Him into the world for all to see and know and love.
Thank you for letting me funnel Him into you and thank you for allowing Him to be chaliced within you.