Vocations Testimony-A Parent's Perspective

St. Monica's Parish in Whitefish Bay hosted a special Vocations Mass and talks on Sunday, November 18th.  Fr. Luke Strand, the energetic director of vocations for the Archdiocese of Milwaukee, said Mass, and then spoke briefly after Mass about his own vocation story and his work with the young people in the Archdiocese as vocations director.  His talk was followed by three beautiful Schoenstatt Sisters of Mary who shared their own personal call stories.  Finally, yours truly was asked to speak about a parent's perspective regarding my son, John, who is a college freshman at St. Joseph's College Seminary at Loyola University in Chicago which will be followed by four years at St. Francis de Sales Seminary in Milwaukee.  The text of my talk is below.

John, on the right, with Domenick, one of  his brother seminarians

When I tell people that my son is a seminarian, I am often met with mixed reactions.  The majority of people congratulate me and I can genuinely feel that they think it’s wonderful for a young man to give his life to God.  But sometimes, I get questions that are tinged with disdain, such as “You’re son wants to be a priest and you’re ok with that?”  By their reaction I get the feeling that they disapprove of my encouraging John to the priesthood.

Have you ever heard the saying “No priest, no Jesus?”  Who else can bring about the transformation of a simple piece of bread into the very Body of our Lord Jesus but the priest at the altar?  And who am I to prevent this from happening by trying to hold back the hand of God when he chooses a young man to service in the Church?  If my son is called to the priesthood, then I am also called to support and encourage him.

But, I don’t intend to make it seem as though giving your child to the church is a terribly difficult situation, because really, all of our children are destined to grow up and move away, aren’t they?  Letting go can be difficult for everyone, regardless of the vocational call that our children receive. 

I’ll never forget when my fourth son, Jack, was born.  A woman from church came to the hospital to give me communion and she commented, “You poor dear!  Four sons!  They are all going to grow up and leave you when they get married!”  Shocked at the negativity of a stranger during a moment of great joy in my life, I shot back, “Well, maybe they’ll all grow up to be priests and leave me anyway!”  And I think it was at that moment that I became more aware of the need to be open to God’s will, not only in my life, but also in the lives of my children.  They belong to God, after all, and He has graciously seen fit to share them with me for a little while, to entrust their upbringing to the greatly unskilled hands of my husband and I.  And so I never prayed for my children to be healthy, successful, smart, or happy.  My constant prayer for all of my children has been “Please God, make them holy.  Help them to know You and Your will for them and let them follow it.”  I’m not saying that I don’t want all of these other things for my children, but just that God’s will always has to be first, and then everything else will follow according to His plan.

And so I look back at my son John’s life up to this point with a careful eye to the will of God and I wonder about so many things...

 

When John was two years old I picked up a book on a sale rack at Kmart of all places, about the life of St. Paul. Despite the fact that it was written in a fairly dry fashion, this book became one of John’s favorites and he asked me to read it to him over and over again which I did, even though I would have rather read something entertaining like Dr. Suess’ Cat in the Hat.  Could it be that God was planting the seeds of his vocation even then?  Had I insisted on reading Dr. Suess instead of the life of St. Paul, would that have thwarted God’s plan in some small way?  

And when he was in the fifth grade and first began to talk about an interest in the priesthood, Paul and I listened and offered encouragement, happy that he had a deep interest in his faith. And we smiled on the sidelines as he became increasingly involved in the Church as an altar server, choir member, lector, member of the Respect Life Committee, Youth Committee and Vocations Committee, and as he spent more and more time at the seminary participating in every program that they offered for youth.  We could see that he had a fire burning brightly in his soul and he eagerly participated in every opportunity that came his way.  But what if we would have discouraged his involvement in so many church activities?  Would he have tried to stifle the voice of God that was speaking to him so clearly?  

When it was time for him to enter middle school and he insisted on being enrolled at our parish school rather than continue in the public schools, we were astonished at his bold request, but we allowed him to attend the Catholic School where he felt closest to God.  Had we insisted that he remain in public schools, would that have dampened his zeal for the Lord? 

I may never have the answers to those questions, but I do know that John was feeling the subtle tug of God for most of his life and he was making his love for his Catholic faith known to us and like any parent who loves their child, we tried to support his desires which stemmed from our own values, and to encourage them. 

After years of watching John grow ever more deeply into his faith and ever more involved in the church, the day to release him to God’s providence finally arrived.  We drove him to Chicago to begin his seminary career.   I am extremely proud of my son, despite any fears that I may have about how this long and difficult road will play out for him.  I don’t know if he or any of our seminarians will make it all the way through the eight arduous years of seminary life culminating in ordination to the priesthood, but I do know that they all have a much better chance of success with the support of our prayers behind them.  As a mother, all I can do is let go and trust that God has John exactly where He wants him and to thank God for allowing John to respond so beautifully to His call, and to continue to pray for him with all I’ve got.

And you can do the same thing for your children, as well as for the children of your friends and family members, that is, you can encourage them to listen to the voice of God speak to them and to respond in love.  How can you do this?

Pray for them!  Pray for the young people you know; encourage them whenever they show any interest in the Catholic faith.  And pray with them!  Lead them to holiness by your own example. Teach them to pray those prayers that have been passed down through the centuries as well as in their own words. Invite them to spend some time in silence before our Eucharistic Lord to hear God speak to their hearts. Take them to Mass, not just weekly, but can I be so bold as to suggest daily?  Try it for just one day a week.  See if you can’t make it work into your schedule and then watch how God works not only in the hearts of your children but in your heart as well.

In regards to encouraging and praying for an increase in vocations for all young people, I want to share a passage from one of my favorite authors, Caryll Houselander, from her book The Passion of the Infant Christ: 

"A young priest was celebrating his first Mass. In the front of the church his mother and his young brothers knelt. It was easy to know them by their likeness to him-a family of dark, golden-skinned boys, and the mother like them.

When the Mass was ended, and the new priest came back into the sanctuary for the blessing and the kissing of the consecrated hands, the family hesitated shyly, almost paralyzed by wonder and love; and before they could go first (as they should have done) to the altar rails, the crowd had pushed past them, strangers had taken their place. The faithful were flocking around their new shepherd, and his mother and his brothers had become part of the crowd, waiting their turn until the end.

For one moment the young priest looked over the bowed heads into his mother's eyes, and his face shone.

"My mother and my brethren are they who hear the word of God and do it."

Because the priesthood had made him the Christ of the people, he belonged to them; he was their kith and kin, their son and brother, their Christ, their priest at the altar.”

I like this passage because it clearly shows that every new priest who reaches his ordination day is a son to us all, a member of our own families.  Shouldn’t we all take an active part then, in helping to foster vocations to the priesthood and religious life, in giving all of our sons a helping hand to the priesthood?  We’re all responsible for the growth of our Church.  So, here’s a few ways that you can help:

The MonthlyPrayer Request for Priests is a website where you will find all of the priests of the Archdiocese of Milwaukee listed in alphabetical order and I ask that you pray for each priest on his specific day.  You will also find the priests names listed in the Milwaukee Catholic Herald.  Some parishes also list the priests in their bulletin and if your parish doesn’t list them, perhaps you could ask them to begin!

Rosesfor Our Lady is a lay apostolate that has been active in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee for over 30 years.  Our main purpose is to promote Marian and Eucharistic devotion.  We hold a monthly holy hour for vocations on the second Sunday of every month at St. Francis de Sales Seminary at 2 PM and everyone is welcome and encouraged to join us and to pray with us for an increase in holy vocations to the priesthood and religious life.  Our next holy hour will be on Sunday, December 9^th and we will be led in prayer by Bishop Don Hying, our spiritual advisor. 

Finally, if you’d like to add some practical work to your prayer, please sign up to volunteer to help the vocations office with mailings, phone calls and preparing food for special vocation office events.  If you sign up to help with the practical work, I will be contacting you from time to time to help with events as needed.  (Dear reader:  Send me an email if you're in the Milwaukee area and want to help with this!  I'll be happy to include you!)

I thank you for coming here today to this special Vocations Mass and for your interest in helping to promote and increase vocations to the priesthood and religious life in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee and I particularly thank the vocations committee at St. Monica's for inviting me to share my story, my heart, with you.  May God richly reward you always and may He bring about the increase in vocations for which we pray!

Pierced

^" When the time came for the purification rites required by the Law of Moses, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord."  ~Luke 2:22-23

The time has finally come when, following the example of St Joseph and the Blessed Mother, Paul and I were called to make our own presentation of our first-born son to the Lord.  Early on Tuesday, August 21st, we packed up John's belongings and together with John's four siblings and our dear friend, and in our hearts, a sibling as well, Fr. Matthew Widder, we traveled from Milwaukee to Chicago to "present" John to the Lord for the beginning of his seminary career at St. Joseph's College Seminary at Loyola University, where he will prepare for the diocesan priesthood in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee. 

John and his entourage

Our pilgrimage, as Fr. Matthew called it, began with daily Mass at our home parish.  Following Communion, Fr. Dave offered a special blessing for John as he begins his seminary career. Armed with the prayers of family and friends and the protection of a first-class relic of St. Pius X on his feast-day, a gift from my oldest sister Diann which she had received from our friend Fr Jim Kubicki, SJ, all eight of us climbed into our battered van, loaded with a few boxes of John's belongings, and we prayed the rosary as we began the two-hour drive to Chicago.  We were blessed with beautiful weather for the drive and move.

in his room with the relic of St. Pius X

When we got to Chicago we went out to lunch and then moved John into his room.  He didn't have very many belongings so it took about 15 minutes to get him settled.  With a few hours to spare before some scheduled meetings for the seminarians and families, we walked over to nearby St. Ignatius Church.  We were blessed to meet Kathy Morris, the pastoral associate, who kindly gave us a personal tour.  She was pleased to share the magnificence of St. Ignatius with pilgrims from Milwaukee since our Archbishop Listecki had been the pastor at St. Ignatius during some of the major renovations done to maintain it's beauty.  And it is so gorgeous!  I will be posting more about the tour in another post.

John and Fr. Matthew at the Sacred Heart of Jesus Shrine on the Loyola Campus

Then we walked along Lake Michigan and all around the campus.  We stopped at the Madonna del Strada Chapel for some silent prayer before returning to the seminary. After the welcoming meetings the families and seminarians joined each other for Mass in Our Lady of the Rosary Chapel.   We sat right by the stained glass window of the Presentation.   I was struck by the gospel passage from Matthew 19:23-30 that read:  "And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life."  It seemed very fitting to reflect upon these words on the day when Paul and I were "giving up" our son to service for the Lord and our son was also "giving up" so much of himself for the love of God.

Following Mass all of the seminarians and families enjoyed a fine dinner and before we left, Fr. Matthew blessed John and his room.   We all offered a tearful and emotional goodbye.  Everyone, including me, was surprised that I didn't completely break down in tears.  Maybe it's because we were all so chatty during the day and I didn't get a chance to think too much about how I was feeling.  But as we left John's room, I realized how quiet his life at the seminary will be compared to our noisy home life and I wondered if the silence will intensify feelings of loneliness in his heart.  When we finally left the seminary just as twilight was overcoming the city, John walked us to the gate and he leaned over it, watching us walk all the way down the street until we turned the corner and with a final wave he turned and walked back to the seminary.

"And a sword will pierce your very soul."  ~Luke 2:39

the new seminarian

  Please pray for John and for all of the seminarians at St. Joseph's College Seminary as they begin their studies this year.

Take Only Your Walking Stick

"He told them to take nothing for their journey except a walking stick--no food, no traveler's bag, no money." ~Mark 6:8


St. Francis de Sales Seminary has a wonderful new vocations director, Fr. Luke Strand, (pictured next to Bishop Hying) and he is just full of energy and fabulous ideas!  He has begun a new initiative called Mission Milwaukee which is a young adult outreach of the Archdiocese of Milwaukee, a project for the New Evangelization.  Every Tuesday night a group of about 40 young men gather at St. Robert's Parish in Shorewood for dinner and fellowship and a group of women gather at the Newman Center at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee for dinner and fellowship, as well.  Then they all join each other for a holy hour and benediction followed by Mass.  At the end of the evening, the men return to St. Robert's Parish for night prayer.

As part of Mission Milwaukee, Fr. Luke has also organized a walking pilgrimage from St. Francis de Sales Seminary to the Basilica of Mary, Help of Christians at Holy Hill.  The pilgrimage covers about 50 miles on foot and is expected to last four days from start to finish.  My son John is taking part in this pilgrimage.  He is on the front right-hand side in the above picture.

The pilgrimage began with Mass at 7:30 AM on Thursday, July 18th and then proceeded to Bishop Hying's office at the Cousin's Center for a blessing.  The morning of the first day included stops at several churches along the way until they arrived at St. Anthony's Parish on Mitchell St. for morning prayer.  The next stop was Marquette University Campus with a visit to the St. Joan of Arc Chapel.  Since the Marquette Campus is only two blocks away from my office, I invited the group to stop at my office for lunch.

It was near 12:45 PM when the travelers arrived at the WIC Clinic, an environment that is primarily made up of women and children, but which was now graced with the presence of nine wonderful young men who were grateful to come in out of the damp mist and humidity to relax with a hearty lunch.  I decided to incorporate this meal into the cooking challenge that my friend Christi and I are working on this summer. You may recall that Christi and I have agreed to invite priests and seminarians to our homes to prepare Italian meals for them using recipes found in From A Rectory Kitchen which was written by Fr. Matthew Mauriello and Franca Bosio Bertoli. You can read my previous post on this subject here and can order your own copy of the cookbook here.


I couldn't find any sandwich recipes in the cookbook, or any other entrees that would be easy for me to prepare at home and then take to work with me in the morning, so I made an Italian sub sandwich from a recipe I found online.  I prepared the Insalata Caprese (Caprese Salad) from the cookbook but used grape tomatoes and fresh mozzarella balls, thinking it might be easier to eat on the way, instead of the sliced tomatoes and cheese as called for in the recipe.  The meal was rounded out with garlic Sun Chips and fresh grapes, lemonade and water.  For dessert I prepared the Biscotti Zia Giuseppina (Aunt Josephine's Cookies) recipe and chose the option of scooping balls of dough instead of forming logs of biscotti.  When preparing the cookies I found that I was out of vanilla extract at home so I substituted lemon extract.  The recipe had called for lemon juice in the frosting but I replaced that with water to keep the cookies from being too tart. (The recipe is below.)

Domenick, one of the seminarians, commented that the Calabrese Salad reminded him of the time that he spent studying in Rome, and another young man, Joe, mentioned that the cookies brought back fond memories for him of an old family recipe that he used to love.  The lunchtime conversation consisted of highlights from the morning walk and comments about how alive the Catholic Church is in the Milwaukee community.

I  asked Fr. Luke if he would bless my office before they left and he gladly obliged.  He offered a prayer asking for God's holiness to shower down upon me and all of the clients that I serve and asking that the devil  be cast out forever in this now sacred space leaving me in a work environment filled only with the aura of God's holy presence.

After Fr. Luke and the seminarians and discerners were well fed and rested they resumed their journey.  As they walked along the busy downtown Wisconsin Avenue, they handed out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to some homeless people and made their way to the Schoenstatt Shrine on 50th and Wisconsin Ave. for afternoon prayer.  They had hoped to reach Christ King Parish in Wauwatosa around dinner time and then arrive at their first overnight destination, St. Mary's Visitation Parish in Elm Grove by nightfall.

Tomorrow morning the pilgrimage will continue as the men walk toward St. Charles Parish in Hartland where Fr. Luke's brother, Fr. Jacob Strand, is working this summer, and then they will spend the night there.  The final destination, The Basilica of St. Mary, Help of Christians at Holy Hill is in sight for Saturday.  Please hold these pilgrims in your prayers as they journey to spread the Gospel message throughout the Archdiocese of Milwaukee.


 

 Biscotti Zia Giuseppina 

Ingredients:

1 C. shortening
1-1/4 c. sugar
6 eggs
2 T. vanilla extract
3 cups flour
2 T. baking powder

Mix shortening and sugar until creamy.  Add eggs and extract and mix well.  In a separate bowl, mix flour and baking powder together.  Gradually add to the egg mixture, incorporating well.  Place on two lightly greased cookie sheets with a spoon, forming a total of four logs.  Bake in a preheated, 350 degree oven for 20 minutes.  Cool for 5 minutes, slice diagonally, place on cookie sheets and return to oven until both sides are lightly toasted.  You can also cool the baked logs completely, thena spread the lemon icing, found below, on them, and slice.  Do not return them to the oven to toast.

Note:  For individual cookies, this batter can also be placed by the tablespoon on the cookie sheets before baking.  Then, after they are baked and cooled, they can be iced with the following:

Lemon Icing:

Using 1-1/2 cups confectionary sugar:  for each 1/2 cup of sugar, mix in 2 tsp. fresh lemon juice.  You can also substitute Anisette in place of the lemon juice.  Mix to a smooth but not runny consistency.  Add more sugar or more juice a bit at a time if needed to get a spreadable consistency.  You can decorate with colored sugar or rainbow sprinkles.

Serves 12 or more.

Shine a Light

Late last month I had the honor of attending St. Francis de Sales Seminary's Open House and have been pondering the wonderful homily given by the rector, Fr. John Hemsing, ever since.

He began with a story about three men who all died at the same time and approached the gates of heaven only to find that St. Peter was on break and a substitute was taking his place at the pearly gates.  The man on duty asked the first man if he knew Jesus Christ.  "Of course," the man replied.  "I go to Mass every Sunday!  Yes, I know Jesus Christ."  The next man was questioned and he was also confident in his knowledge of Jesus Christ. He said, "Yes, I know Jesus.  I attend daily Mass and pray the rosary and read scripture every single day."  The man at the gate seemed to be pleased with these two responses.  Finally, he turned to the third man and asked the same question, "Do you know Jesus Christ?"  The man replied, "Of course I do!  I recognized You right away!"

As Fr. Hemsing continued with his homily he drove the point of this story home quite powerfully.  He said it may be fairly easy for you to be holy on the outside, to pray, to attend Mass, to read scripture, to perform works of charity.  But are you really holy on the inside?  Or is there some piece of sinfulness to which you refuse to let go?  Is there some darkness on the inside to which you cling?  What holds you back from really knowing and recognizing Jesus?

Homilies like this always make me cringe because I recognize that his words are directed right to me personally. It's as if Fr. Hemsing was speaking to my heart. This was one of those moments when Christ clearly spoke through the priest as He addressed my own state of sinfulness.  Jesus wants me to see that I am not meant to live with darkness in my soul.  He wants to draw me into the light that can only shine upon me after I let go of my tight and fervent clinging to sin. My efforts to hide in the shadows and to avoid the love that can only be showered upon me when I am contrite and humbled before God have got to be put aside, cast off forever, and my heart needs to open itself to the amazing love of God who wants me to know Him and to be filled with His light and His love.

Are you like me-performing acts of holiness on the outside but clinging to sin within?  Do you think that you can effectively cast the glow of Jesus' love to the world around you while that darkness remains inside your heart?

How blessed we are as Catholics to have recourse to the confessional where the black stain of sin may be scrubbed from our souls.  We don't have to accept simply being holy on the outside through actions that all can see; we can shine with the light of holiness both inside and out through a deep repentance and turning away from all of the shadows that darken our souls.

Dear Jesus, Lord of all that is bright and holy, shine your love within my soul.  Reveal my sins to me and allow me to feel such a deep hatred for them that I will refuse to allow their ugliness to keep me from recognizing You when You call me home to Your eternal kingdom.  Bring me to my knees in contrition for love of You.  Amen.

A Living Chalice

"Lord Jesus, by the Precious Blood You did shed in the Garden of Olives, take pity on all aspirants to the priesthood who, through the temptations of the evil one, or dread of the responsibilities of the sacred ministry, are in danger of losing their vocation. Impart to these tortured souls sufficient courage to make the sacrifices by which the Eucharistic Chalice must be purchased; and in return for their generosity, inebriate them at the altar with the Blood which, in Heaven, shall be their eternal source of delight.

Our Lady of the Precious Blood, watch over the living chalices of the Blood of Jesus. Amen."

~from Prayers for Priests and Those Destined for the Priesthood recited daily by the Handmaids of the Precious Blood as a closing prayer after Vespers
















(My son, John, adoring the Lord in Christ King Chapel at the Cousin's Center-photo courtesy of Kenny Urlakis)

My oldest son, John, was accepted as a seminarian for the Archdiocese of Milwaukee and God-willing he will begin the fall semester at St. Joseph's College Seminary at Loyola University in Chicago. I am as proud and happy as a mother could possibly be. But, I also feel a bit like the mother of St. James and St. John who begged the Lord to allow her sons to have a seat of honor in heaven. For years I have pleaded with God to draw all of my children close to His heart and when John first began to show an interest in the priesthood I prayed all the more. Now, my prayers must be even more fervent because although God has called my son to the priesthood and John has responded willingly, the life of a seminarian is not an easy one and it will take all that John has to give. He must drink from the chalice of suffering at every step and yet continue to joyfully carry on in his studies and preparation for the most sacred vocation of priesthood.

The emotions of a mother learning to let go of her son for service in the Church are many and varied. With this year's Diaconate Ordination scheduled for this coming Saturday, April 21st, where the Archdiocese of Milwaukee will witness five wonderful men (Patrick Joseph Burns, Philip James Schumaker, Arulananthan Ponnaiyan, Jorge Enrique Hernandez Castellanos and Paul Schneider-a Conventual Franciscan and Oblate of the Precious Blood) ordained to the transitional diaconate as their final step to priesthood, I recall last year's Diaconate Ordination and a story of a mother and son (who is set to be ordained to the priesthood this May) which had stirred my heart. Here is a repost of that story from April 16th, 2011:

The Fourth Station




















(image of the fourth Station of the Cross at St. John the Evangelist Cathedral in Milwaukee)

Yesterday's beautiful Ordination Mass saw five fine young men take one step closer on their journey to the cross, the complete and total laying down of their lives for the Lord and His Church. At that Mass, hundreds of people welcomed Yamid Jose Blanco, Juan Manuel Comacho, Brad Alan Krawczyk, Ryan Joseph Preuss, and Hans Flondor of the Conventual Franciscan order, to the transitional diaconate and their final year of study and preparation for the priesthood.

Yamid is originally from Columbia, South America and his family traveled a great distance to be with him on this most special and important date. At the ordination Mass, the mothers of those receiving the Sacrament are asked to carry the gifts to the altar. After presenting the gifts, the mothers each had an opportunity to embrace their sons before once again taking their seats. From my vantage point far in the back of the church, I could sense that something was slightly amiss from the plan, things seemed to be taking longer than they should. As I strained to catch a better look I saw a touching moment of deep holiness that brought tears to my eyes and I'm sure to the eyes of many others who witnessed that scene. Long after all of the other mothers had taken their seats, one remained standing. Yamid's mother lingered, embracing her son while Archbishop Listecki patiently and lovingly looked on.

On Jesus' long and tortuous walk to his death, that same scene played out. Mary, after many years of only seeing her beloved son from a crowded and distant vantage point, who was often denied the close contact with her son to which she was so accustomed from His days of youth, was finally standing right in front of Him. Here at the Fourth Station, she could only embrace Him with her eyes, but oh, how her arms and heart must have ached to physically embrace him, to hold him up if only for a moment, to take some of his pain away. It was her moment of complete misery, to love Him so much but to have no choice other than to let Him go.

And here was Yamid's mother, at last after many years apart, able to reach out and hold her son. She knows that from now on, with each day that draws him closer to the priesthood, she will only see him from a crowded and distant vantage point. But at this moment when she met her son at the altar, her heart bursting with pride and joy and sorrow and love and every possible human emotion that a mother can have for her son, she held him long and close, knowing that beyond this Fourth Station he will be out of her hands and his life will no longer belong to her, but to God alone.

My Brother, The Pope-A Book Review

It's hard to believe that our Holy Father is now 85 years old having celebrated his birthday just yesterday! God bless him! It seems that those who are related to our famous religious leaders have been drawn to share their stories of what it was like to grow up with such saintly siblings. Recently Bob Dolan wrote a charming book, Life Lessons, about his brother Timothy Cardinal Dolan and now Georg Ratzinger has come out with My Brother, The Pope which is an equally enchanting and sweet book filled with his tender memories about growing up with Pope Benedict.

The book of memoirs written by the older brother of Pope Benedict opens our eyes to what it was like to grow up in the holy and faith-filled family that produced our current fabulous pope. It is filled with family photos that add vibrancy to the author's words.

I was most impressed to read about how the Ratzinger family suffered through World War II and about the rapid rise of the young priest, Fr. Joseph Ratzinger, into the world of academics and faith. But what touched my heart most deeply were the references to Pope Benedict's love for bears beginning with his early childhood love for a toy teddy bear. It's the type of information that the world just would never learn about if there weren't a sibling willing to share those little life details.

I was deeply struck by Georg Ratzinger's recollections of meals that he personally ate that fondly remained in his heart so much so that he had to include the details in this book of memoirs. It seemed to me to be an unusual sharing of something that was personally significant to the author and it made me smile to think of how food and the sharing of a meal can have such an important place in all of our memories. Nearly every chapter contained a description of a memorable meal which the author enjoyed, such as this passage where he recounted a trip to attend his uncle's funeral after the family had been mistakenly led to believe that their father had died:

"...I accompanied him on that trip to Rickering, his birthplace. That same day, the clergy of the deanery met at the parish in Schwanenkirchen, and I was also invited to attend. "You sit here", they said, and then a wonderful Bavarian snack was served, which I ate with great relish: smoked meat (bacon), bread and butter, and a beer with it. Things like that leave an impression, you do not forget them for the rest of your life! But it all tasted twice as good because I was so relieved that our father was still alive."

I couldn't help but notice the similarities between Georg Ratzinger's frequent recollections of memorable meals and Bob Dolan's oft-mentioned stories of memorable drinks that he shared with his brother, Cardinal Dolan. And this was not the only part of Pope Benedict's and Cardinal Dolan's stories written by their brothers that seemed quite similar...

Throughout Life Lessons, Bob Dolan insists that his brother will never be Pope despite the fact that rumors are nearly always swirling about stating that Cardinal Dolan would make very good Pope material. Could that be because he harbors a fear that if his brother were to become Pope someday, he would lose the close relationship that he has always valued with his brother, that as Pope, Cardinal Dolan would have fewer opportunities to spend time with his family? That certainly seemed to be the concern of Georg Ratzinger when Pope John Paul II had become seriously ill during his final days of life:

"...I was repeatedly asked by people and by journalists too, whether my brother would become pope. My answer was always the same: "No, he certainly will not!"...

And his story about how he finally heard the news about his brother actually being chosen to be the successor to St. Peter was deeply touching:

"I even experienced the "Habemus Papem" live. At the time I was called by a journalist who said she had just heard that white smoke had gone up in Rome and wanted to hear from me whether I knew anything more specific. "No," I answered truthfully, "I know nothing." Then I turned on the television and heard it there, like everybody else....I must quite honestly say that at that moment I was rather disheartened. It was a great challenge, an enormous task for him, I thought, and I was seriously worried. I saw neither the pomp nor the beauty of it, but only the challenge of this office, which now demanded everything of him, and the burden it meant for him. And I was sad that now he would probably have no more time for me. So that evening I went to bed rather depressed."

I can't imagine what it must be like to have such a famous and well-loved brother, one you'd like to keep for yourself but instead must share with the world. But now through the words of Georg Ratzinger, I have a little better idea of who our beloved Pope Benedict really is and of how much he and his older brother and fellow priest value their close family relationship which from every aspect seemed to be formed through a normal family life filled with love and prayer.

I heartily enjoyed My Brother, The Pope, and read through it quickly and eagerly. I am confident that all those who open the pages of this book will be deeply drawn into the loving story of two brothers whose only life desire has been to serve the Lord through the use of their talents and to draw others closer to Him and to His wondrous love.

(If you are in the Milwaukee area, you may be interested in attending a book signing and discussion with Bob Dolan about his book Life Lessons at St. Francis de Sales Seminary on April 23rd. You can view the event details at the Vocations Office Website "Think Priest" which can be found at this link.)

More Libraries AND More Churches

I wrote the following in response to an editorial that appeared in the Sunday, February 5th edition of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. The story that I am referencing can be found in full at this link.


More Libraries AND More Churches

On Sunday morning I found myself with a few minutes to spare before my family and I headed out to Mass at St. Matthias Parish in Milwaukee, so I opened the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and was saddened, hurt and offended to read the article by Community Columnist Rose Locander titled More Libraries, Fewer Churches.

Ms. Locander identifies herself a retired public high school teacher from Waukesha and she bemoans the fact that this world seems to be filled with illiterate “sheep” who feed their souls with words of faith at the many local churches in our area rather than feeding their brains with the words of wisdom to be found at the library.

While I agree with her that the library is a great treasure in any community and would love to see greater use of all public and private libraries, I don’t understand why she feels so strongly that libraries should replace churches as a source of wisdom. Her letter seems to be filled with a fear of religion from which history has shown us can all too often be the seedbed of hatred resulting in discrimination.

Ms. Locander feels that “giving someone the impression that the sky is going to rescue them from challenges” and that “filling children’s heads with tales of arks, floods and magical amounts of loaves and fishes” is a mistake. She seems to feel that people of faith are mindless and that our “huge monuments to magical Deity” are without value. She feels that “another church, another minister, priest, rabbi or other religious leader is not needed.” Ms. Locander is of the opinion that any “homeless person on the street” can teach more about the afterlife than our religious leaders, many of whom just may have been educated at a public high school by a teacher such as herself. And here I must add that I am grateful that Ms. Locander is now retired so that she may no longer fill our children’s heads with her atheistic beliefs.

I would suggest that Ms. Locander spend her years of retirement by attempting to open her mind and heart to the wisdom that is found within the many churches in our area. By attending a church of her choice, Ms. Locander will find the wisdom that can only come from a deep love and openness to the mystery, not magic, with which our Creator has blessed this world. At her local church she would find the kindness and compassion of the the many faith-filled “sheep” she criticizes as being mindless, but who also happen to be the great leaders in many areas of our local community.

I would also challenge Ms. Locander to pay another visit to any local library and actually open and read the book of which she is apparently so afraid that she cannot even call it by its rightful name in print. I’m speaking of the “The Bible”, the book that Ms. Locander warns against reading to children because it “is a recipe for the creation of mindless followers.”

Finally, I would encourage Ms. Locander to pay a visit to one of the finest libraries in our area, The Salzmann Library at St. Francis de Sales Seminary in Milwaukee, where she will find the shelves filled with books that challenge and expand the minds and hearts of all believers. Here she will learn of the great history of Christianity, of the fearless saints and leaders who have bravely stood up for their beliefs against pagans who did their best to do away with all faith in the name of progress. Here she will find the love and intelligence of God in the written word and will come away with a greater understanding of the need for all of those in today’s society to embrace both libraries and churches with the hope of bringing peace and progress to our world and salvation for our souls.

Ponderings on the Priesthood

While I was still in the hospital after the birth of my fourth son, a woman from church came to give me communion and as she left my room after feeding me the Body of Our Lord, she carelessly said, "Poor thing! Four sons! One day they will all get married and leave you!" I was left a bit dumbfounded, but not enough to leave me without a retort so I shot back, "Who knows? Maybe they'll all become priests and leave me anyway!"

And when my children were small, my only prayer for them was that God would bring them to goodness and holiness. I didn't pray for their success, their intelligence, their popularity, their health or their happiness. Just their holiness. I didn't pray for them to become married or to become priests. I prayed for them to know God's will and to live it.

So when my oldest son, while still at the tender age of ten, announced that he felt called to the priesthood, I was pleased and carefully nurtured his prayer life along, being cautious not to push and doing my best to always let him know that no matter what path he would eventually follow in life, he would always be loved for who he is, my beloved son and God's beloved son, not for what he does with his life.

Now he is actually in the process of applying to the seminary and it feels as though my world has turned upside down. Now why should it feel that way? It's not my vocation, not my life, but still I'd be untruthful if I said that I wasn't a bit unnerved and stressed right along with him as he fills out the application forms and keeps his appointments with doctors, dentists, psychologists and priests for the necessary interviews and poking and prodding required of all applicants to the priesthood.

I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the entire process, by the thought of my oldest son soon to be packing up and leaving home for college of any sort and the worry that it is very possible that his hopes and dreams won't come true and that he won't be accepted to the seminary. I'm challenged by how difficult it is to listen to his worries and his stresses and to not take them as my own.

On New Year's Eve for the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, my family and I attended a nearby church that offered an 11:00 PM Mass sponsored by the Rosary Evangelization Apostolate and celebrated by our friend, and family member in our hearts, Fr. Matthew Widder. Fr. Matthew had asked John if he would help as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. John has never participated in this ministry before and watching him offer the Body of Christ to those at Mass, including me, for the very first time, really took my breath away. It was as if I was seeing a vision of his possible future, holding the Body of our Lord in his hands and offering Him to others and my heart felt torn by the mix of sorrow mingled with joy with which it was filled. And then I recalled the following passage from Caryll Houselander's Passion of the Infant Christ:

"A young priest was celebrating his first Mass. In the front of the church his mother and his young brothers knelt. It was easy to know them by their likeness to him-a family of dark, golden-skinned boys, and the mother like them.

When the Mass was ended, and the new priest came back into the sanctuary for the blessing and the kissing of the consecrated hands, the family hesitated shyly, almost paralyzed by wonder and love; and before they could go first (as they should have done) to the altar rails, the crowd had pushed past them, strangers had taken their place. The faithful were flocking around their new shepherd, and his mother and his brothers had become part of the crowd, waiting their turn until the end.

For one moment the young priest looked over the bowed heads into his mother's eyes, and his face shone.

"My mother and my brethren are they who hear the word of God and do it."

Because the priesthood had made him the Christ of the people, he belonged to them; he was their kith and kin, their son and brother, their Christ, their priest at the altar.

People often seem to think of our Lady aggrieved, slighted when this happened to her! I think she and her son looked across the heads of the crowds to one another with just that understanding and gratitude that shone on the faces of the young priest and his mother."

And so I pray that if John will be accepted to the seminary and will prepare for priesthood, that my heart will be as open as that of the Blessed Mother and the mother in this story, that I will understand that this offering up of my son for the good of others is the greatest blessing a mother could ever know. Please hold John in your prayers as he continues this process of discernment and application. And for some really good reading about a mother's hopes for her son, I encourage you to visit the Archdiocese of Milwaukee blog where one of my favorite local writers, Karen Mahoney, courageously shares her hopes for her son, Erin.

To Feel the Pain

"Remember that to reach the Resurrection, one must always climb Mt. Calvary. No one has ever (or will ever) come up with another way to salvation.

You will never know the depth of your own soul, unless you are willing to climb down deep into it and sit there for a while. It is there, sitting in the muck and sludge of our own sinfulness, our own humanity, our own brokenness, that we come to know the saving power of Jesus Christ." ~Deacon Ryan Preuss

I recently met with a woman at work who was pregnant with her fourth child. She told me that her three sons were all incredibly easy to deliver; she just showed up at the hospital and before she knew it she was holding a beautiful baby boy in her arms without having experienced any real pain. I marveled at that and considered her to be very fortunate as labor pains are hardly something that a woman relishes about having a baby. But she disagreed with my point of view. She said that with this baby she was hoping for a long labor and wanted to feel all of the pain. She wanted to experience and savor every moment of the pregnancy, labor, delivery and parenting of her child.

Thinking about her response made me realize the value of her words. Our lives were meant to be fully experienced and savored, but without the pain which is a natural part of life, how can we fully appreciate the joys?

Recently I had the wonderful opportunity to spend some time with some good friends who generously host occasional parties in an old barn that has been converted to a gymnasium complete with basketball hoops, trampolines, slides, rope swings and a foam pit. Don and Anne kindly invite the teen boys, including my sons, who participate in the St. Francis de Sales Seminary camps for boys discerning the priesthood, to come and release some pent up energy while re-connecting with their friends that they met at the camps. They will often invite some priests and seminarians to join us and they ask them to offer a little reflection for the boys to ponder. At this most recent gathering we were joined by Deacon Ryan Preuss and seminarian Kurt Krauss who shared their experiences of the World Youth Day Pilgrimage in Madrid, Spain, with us.

It seems that neither of these young men had a joyous and perfect experience on their pilgrimage, in fact, hardship and difficulty seemed to be the defining description. They spent nights sleeping outside on the cold, hard ground in clothes that were soaking wet from the rain, they suffered the effects of sitting closely with crowds of pilgrims from around the world, they went without eating, they lost members of their groups and were barred from entering the tent for the final Mass with the Pope. Deacon Ryan commented that in some cases it almost felt like purgatory as his group was standing outside of a tent where Eucharistic Adoration was taking place and there was a huge sign that said "Welcome" but they weren't allowed inside because the tent was overcrowded. Yet, in all of their remarks they both overwhelming stated that their pilgrimage was a reflection of the Christian life overall. Life isn't meant to be easy, things aren't always supposed to go as planned, there is no guarantee that we will always be happy; and they wouldn't have it any other way. Because in the challenges and difficulties as well as in the joys and successes, we find God at work, changing us, refining us, loving us.

When my struggles with depression were at their worst, my son Joe, who was often most distraught to see his mother suffering and astutely noticed that the timing of my psychological breakdown coincided with a deeper conversion into my Catholic faith, would often complain and ask, "Mom, why is it that ever since you became a Jesus freak, you have been miserable? Why would anyone want to turn to God if doing so makes you so unhappy?" And in my sorrow, I couldn't clearly think of a response other than to reiterate how much I love Jesus and that my depression was not His fault, but just a part of life; but my words felt lame and inadequate and nothing that I could say to him in response to his question would satisfy him. I was at a loss for an explanation and his words cut me to the quick. In fact, there were many times when I joined in Joe's complaint and put his same questions in prayer to God. But here, in the words of Deacon Ryan and Kurt, and in the viewpoint of the expectant mother, the answer became crystal clear; we aren't meant to escape the pain, we are meant to feel the pain and to endure in our faith despite the suffering we may feel.

To feel the pain is to allow God to work in your life, to let Him draw you closer to His love through the entire experience of life, both the painful and the pleasant moments. If we want to follow Christ, we must travel through the trials of the cross, trials which will manifest themselves differently for each of us, before we can reach the glories of the resurrection. If we really want to bear the name Christian, then like St. Therese we must say "I choose all!" and learn to carry on and work through the pain so that one day, we will be able to fully embrace the joys of heaven. There is no "easy out," we must strive to accept the fact that despite the hardness of life, God will never abandon us and our lives have a deep and meaningful purpose that will only make sense to us when we leave this life for our final destiny where we will then clearly see that all of the suffering we endured on earth was meaningful and beautiful, and God used it all for His glory in the mystery of His plan. In the words of Pope John Paul II from Salvifici Doloris, "in whatever form, suffering seems to be, and is, almost inseparable from man's earthly existence." We were born to feel the pain and to remain faithful despite our suffering. Our call as Christians is to unite our suffering with the suffering of Christ and in our pain, however minor or horrific it may be, we will be assisting God as He redeems our souls and those of the whole world.