Friday, December 31, 2010

He Gave Power

"To those who did accept him he gave power to become children of God, to those who believe in his name, who were born not by natural generation nor by human choice nor by a man's decision but of God." from John 1:1-18

As a child, when I'd become upset with my parents over some perceived injustice meted out to me, I'd often yell out "Well, I didn't ask to be born!" In their wisdom (and probably because they might had heard this same retort many times by my eight older brothers and sisters) they usually met my smart alecky words with silence.

Thinking now on those words meant to hurt my parents, I see that whether or not it was my choice or my parents choice that my life began, none of that matters, because I am of God. He gave me the power to be His child.

In my youth I couldn't see that I was living at St. Bernard's First Degree of Love-love of self for self's sake. I foolishly thought that I was the center of the universe-that whether or not I lived and what choices I was given in life were all of my doing and/or based upon my particular lot in life, such as who my family members happened to be.

How often I erroneously continue to live in that selfish state, thinking that I can control my life, that I can choose my moods and emotions, believing that I am in charge of what happens to me. I behave childishly; not childlike.

I am powerless....without Him.

He gave the power. I am His child.

Oh, glorious childhood where I am free to let go of all control, where I can place all of my cares into His wondrous and holy hands! Why should I worry, He will care for me. He has always cared for me. He has given me all that I could ever need or want and even more than that.

With the knowledge of this God-given power, I can easily move forward to the second degree of love-love of God for self's sake. How can I not love Him when I see how greatly he has blessed me, how many gifts He has bestowed upon me so generously? I didn't need to ask to be born-He gave me that power without any effort on my part-all I need to ask for is the grace to deeply accept this life of mine with love and gratitude, for Him.

Sometimes, as I've learned last year, acceptance is hard to come by, sometimes I want to give in to despair and callously toss aside the gifts I have been given and look for an escape from this gloriously beautiful life.

Forgive me, Lord-how often I fail to know what it is that I am doing.
Help me to put my whole life, this powerful gift from You, back into Your hands where you will care for me as Your little child. Amen.

St. Bernard's Four Degrees of Love

1. Love of self for self's sake
2. Love of God for self's sake
3. Love of God for God's sake
4. Love of self for God's sake

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Four Degrees of Love

Ending the year, feeling like a failure-knowing it wasn't completely without merit-just not as perfect as I would have liked it to be...I'm ready for a fresh start, longing to leave the past behind, ready to begin going DEEPER-- DEEPER into His arms, His heart, His love...

I look at St. Bernard's Four Degrees of Love once again and decide I want to begin going deeper right here, want to look at those degrees more closely, want to challenge myself to move through those degrees with more intensity--

1. Love of self for self's sake.
2. Love of God for self's sake.
3. Love of God for God's sake.
4. Love of self for God's sake.

I begin with why God should be loved:

St. Bernard says: "the reason for loving God is God Himself; and the measure of love due to Him is immeasurable love."

And I think of his great love, choosing to become one of us-frail, weak, human-dependent upon the care of others. He knows. He knows what we suffer. He knows our joys. He is not a distant creator, but a God become one of us in the form of a helpless baby. And even more significant, he didn't take on human form just to understand us, but to die for us. He was born to die. For us. Because He loves us.

St. Bernard goes on to quote the famous line seen along country roadways on the sides of barns and held up in football stadiums everywhere. "God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

EVERLASTING LIFE. That life that includes EVERLASTING LOVE. This is the fourth degree of love that I am after, that we are all after.

O God, on this threshold of a new year, a year in which I want to go DEEPER into knowledge and love of myself so that I may grow DEEPER in knowledge and love of You, I ask You to guide me, slowly, patiently, gently into the DEEP where I will openly receive every good gift which You desire to bestow upon my weak and fragile heart, even the gifts which don't feel so good at first, those that might cause me pain in the growth. Open my heart to love of self for Your sake, not for mine. And along the way, when I stumble and fall, as I am sure to do, remind me that I am not a failure as long as I remember to take all of my efforts and place them into Your loving hands as an offering of my self, the very self that You have always loved. Amen.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Walking Prayer

After reading "The Diary of a Country Priest" by Georges Bernanos, I feel as if I am transported to the novel setting of long ago France as I hang on to the final words of the story:

"Does it matter? Grace is...everywhere."

Those words reverberate in my heart as I leave my office for my daily luncheon walk around the Marquette College Campus. Suddenly, it feels like I'm traveling the roads that M. le Cure so loved in the novel. With the St. Joan of Arc Chapel in the background, the setting is nearly believable...

The pounding of my footsteps on the salt-covered pavement was the only noticeable sound aside from the roaring freeway traffic in the distance, which I could imagine was a far-off breeze in that long ago time.

All of the college students who usually fill the campus during the noon hour with their animated discussions as they hurry to class had gone home for Christmas break.

The frigid wind kept trying to blow my scarf from my neck, but I grasped it tightly to keep out the cold with one hand, while my other hand moved the beads in my pocket. With each step of my feet I breathe out a prayer...

Hail Mary...
step, step, step,
full of grace
the Lord is with thee...
step, step, step,

Can God hear my prayer more clearly through the noise of my feet, I wonder? Does the rhythmic sound catch His attention in this strangely silent environment? Or, is the muffled whisper of my words behind my woolen scarf--now damp from the heat of my breath--all that He requires to hear my heart? Does it matter whether the air is warm or cold, whether the walkways are bustling with activity or quietly abandoned?

I can feel Him in the air, in my breath, in my heart-His grace is here, always.

I continued on, quickly now, towards the warmth of my office, away from the desolate silence of this frigid space, hoping to hold His loving grace within me throughout the remainder of my busy day. And I kept on praying as I left my imaginary France behind for the reality of my urban life, but it didn't really matter where I was, for...Grace is everywhere.

Blessed art thou among women...
step, step, step
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Santa's Prayer on Christmas Eve

Today I received a Christmas Card from my friend Janet, and inside the card, she had tucked this wonderful prayer. I had never seen this before, but was deeply moved and knew that this should be shared.

Santa's Prayer on Christmas Eve

The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed,

But Santa still knelt by the side of the bed.

"Dear Father," he prayed "Be with me tonight,

There's much work to do and my schedule is tight.

I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky,

Knowing full well that a reindeer can't fly.

I will visit each household before the first light,
I'll cover the world and all in one night.

With sleighbells a-ringing, I'll land on each roof,

Amid the soft clatter of each little hoof.

To get in the house is the difficult part,

So I'll slide down the chimney of each child's heart.

My sack will hold toys to grant all their wishes.

The supply will be endless like the loaves and the fishes.

I will fill all the stockings and not leave a track.

I'll eat every cookie that is left for my snack.

I can do all these things Lord, only through You.

I just need your blessing, then it's easy to do.

All this is to honor the birth of the One,

That was sent to redeem us, Your most Holy Son.

So to all of my friends, least Your glory I rob,

Please, Lord, remind them who gave me this job."

~Warren D. Jennings

Last night our family was treated to the best school Christmas program we have ever seen. The program was called "The Best Christmas Present Ever!" My daughter Mary had a little solo-isn't she cute?

The program was created by Celeste Clydesdale and arranged by David T. Clydesdale. The gist of the story was that a group of children were trying to plan a birthday party for the baby Jesus and had asked a non-believing newscaster to help promote the party, and by the time the party was over, the newscaster was now a believer as well.

At the end of the program, several narrators recited the Christmas Story ala Linus from A Charlie Brown Christmas. Listening to them speak, I began to choke up. As they recited the familiar gospel story, the children who were portraying the Holy Family and their guests arrived on stage. The angel had a smile on her face that could have lit up the whole room without her halo! But by far, the show stealer was a little boy in the second grade who then sang "Happy Birthday, Jesus" in a sweet and sincere voice. Before he stepped away from the microphone, he whispered, "I love you, Jesus."

That was it, the tears began to flow. Had I payed a fortune to attend a professional Christmas Program, I don't think I would have seen a better show, or one that moved me as deeply. I am so grateful to have had this opportunity to celebrate Christmas in this way, and I pray that all of you, dear friends, will also find that your heart is moved by simple joys in this Holy Season. A Blessed Christmas, everyone!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Dreaming Big

Last night our family dinner conversation revolved around travel. Now, none of us in the Bender family have really ever traveled anywhere, as I've mentioned before on this blog. Our usual family vacations consist of camping at a nearby State Park. I would say that we are pretty content to sit back and listen to others share their travel stories knowing that our turn will come someday when we'll be able to see a bit of the world far beyond the outside of our backdoor. So it was fun fantasizing with each other about where we would go if we ever had the chance for a real vacation, sort of like dreaming about how you might spend the money if you were to ever win the lottery.

Now most of our dream destinations were pretty typical: Hawaii, Florida, and other warm and sunny places. My top three were:

Prince Edward Island, Canada-I've always been a huge fan of "Anne of Green Gables" and would love to see the real-life setting of those fanciful, fictional tales with the heroine who spells her name like me

Maine-all of my life I've thought that this would be a wonderful place to spend some time in. I think it took my husband by surprise that this would be one of my choices; I guess I had never mentioned it to him before. When he asked why I would want to travel to Maine, I said it's because I've always wanted to see the ocean crashing into the rocky shore and I'd love to tour all of those lighthouses. My dear Paul is a bit of a smart-aleck as well as a thrifty man and he reminded me that if I would simply travel the 80 miles back to my hometown of Manitowoc, WI, I could see plenty of Lake Michigan waves crashing on rocks, and, there's a nice lighthouse there as well.

Rome-of course! In fact, my kids eyebrows all shot up in surprise because I didn't mention additional sacred destinations such as the Holy Land, Guadalupe, Fatima and Lourdes. Of course, I would love to go there as well, but even dreaming about Rome makes me feel extravagant. How many far off destinations could I ever afford? And with the newest approved Marian Apparition, Our Lady of Good Help, a mere 100 miles from my home, there really is no need for me to travel to far off locations to witness the wonder of a miraculous visit from Mary.

But then, I thought, I would like to add one more location, and that would be England. I would love to go to England on the day that John Howard, the founder of A Vocation to be a Priest, is finally ordained to the priesthood. John has been such a faithful internet friend to both my son John and I, and he is so dedicated to the cause of increasing vocations, that I will just have to be in attendance at his most special day which will begin his Ordained life of service to God so that I might receive his blessing.

I was feeling pretty high and mighty with my lofty travel dreams, until I noticed that Jack, my son who struggles to get his thoughts out into words because of his speech disorder, was patiently waiting for a turn to join the animated discussion so that he could share his travel dream. When everyone piped down long enough for Jack to speak, he said that there is only one place that he would like to go and that is to Heaven. No airfare needed, no justification necessary and the the ticket is prayer!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Another Bumper Sticker Prayer

After I was enchanted and inspired by the "God Bless the Whole World" bumper sticker that I saw last week, I noticed another prayer on a bumper sticker as I was stuck in traffic a few days later. Now, I wasn't immediately enchanted by the prayer on the back of that car, in fact, my first reaction was to scoff when I noticed those familiar green and gold colors that are a part of the Wisconsin landscape during football season. Wisconsin is so over-the-top in Green Bay Packer mania and I am so NOT a football fan that I could have easily missed the beauty of the words "God Bless Green Bay." After all, I'm used to ridiculous requests for prayers regarding that football team. My husband and I used to roll our eyes at one another every Sunday as we entered church and would be greeted by the usher who always told us to "pray for the Packers!" But, considering that traffic was moving very slowly that morning, I had lots of time to ponder that prayer and I realized that God has definitely answered that intention in a huge and beautiful way.

I am sure that it is common knowledge that the diocese of Green Bay, Wisconsin is the new home to a Marian Apparition that has been declared "worthy of belief" by Green Bay Bishop David Ricken, and so, regardless of the color of the bumper sticker, I will now be uttering a prayer of thanksgiving when I see those beautiful words on bumper stickers or anywhere else. I will be thanking God for blessing Green Bay and the whole world with a sign of hope and inspiration for all of those who who teach the faith as well as for those who are in need of something to believe in, by sending Our Lady of Good Help to Adele Brise with a loving and hopeful message. Miracles do happen. Saints are alive and well in our lifetime. And God is very present in our world, always calling us to a deeper faith and a deeper love with never-ending blessings, both big and small, not just for Green Bay, but indeed, for the whole world!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

God Bless Us, Everyone

I recently saw a bumper sticker which read, "God Bless the Whole World." I felt my face light up with a smile as I realized that I was reading the perfect prayer. After all, I sometimes feel as if I could spend hours listing all of my intentions before I even begin to pray: God bless the sick, the homeless, the lonely, the dying, my family, my friends, my enemies, my neighbors, my co-workers, the Church, my brothers and sisters in Christ, my brothers and sisters of all faith backgrounds, those with no faith, those who've asked me to pray for them, myself...Asking God to bless the whole world just covers them all and then some, doesn't it? And more than that, what we're really asking for with this simple prayer is for everyone to recognize that Christ is alive in each and every one of us, and if only we could see Him, could realize His presence in each person we meet, then God truly would be blessing the whole world.

I'm on a Caryll Houselander kick this Advent and the following passage speaks so poetically of the Christ Child in all of us...

"In some He is newly born.
In some He is a child.
In some He is homeless.
In some, He is ignored, unrecognized, mocked, betrayed.
In some He is hungry; in some He is naked; in some He is helpless.
Here are examples, but they are not exhaustive: indeed, they are only hints at the countless manifestations of Christ in man...

In many people Christ lives the life of the Host. Our life is a sacramental life. This Host life is like the Advent life, like the life of the Child in the womb, the Child in the swaddling bands, the Christ in the tomb. It is a life of dependence upon creatures, of silence and secrecy, of hidden light. It is the life of a prisoner.

The Host life may be lived in prisons: in prisons of war, in internment camps, in almshouses, hospitals, workhouses; by blind people, mental patients; in people who have to be wheeled about, washed, dressed and undressed by others; who are literally obliged to offer themselves to God in the hands of other people, like the Host in the priest's hands at the Mass."

~Caryll Houselander, The Reed of God

Just yesterday, I held the Host in my hands, not only at Mass, but at work as well: I was visiting with a mother and her one-month-old son in my office, signing them up for WIC (Women, Infants and Children) benefits so that the mother could have some formula for her baby and healthy food for herself. She had struggled unsuccessfully to breastfeed her baby and so resorted to feeding formula, but now, she was out of formula, and, showing me the empty baby bottle, said she didn't know what she would do without the help that WIC provides.

I took the baby bottle, washed it in the nearby sink and made a new bottle of formula for her so that she could feed her hungry baby while we talked. She went on to share her worries with me about her finances, and the fact that she had applied for cash assistance and food stamps from the State but has been waiting for six weeks and still has not had a response about whether or not she would qualify for the benefits. Being fairly new to this country (just like the Holy Family in Egypt) and not completely proficient in English, she was trying to figure out what her next step should be to provide for herself and her son. Now, she was out of money and out of food and was grateful for the assistance that WIC would provide.

As I looked through my resources to help her find the nearest agency that could help her with her concerns, I could see that she was anxious to finish her appointment with me, because instead of taking her son out of his car seat and holding him while she fed him, she simply left him strapped in his seat and held the bottle in his mouth. She confessed that she was in a hurry because she had a doctor appointment across town and didn't want to be late. But, baby was not enjoying being fed like this; he wanted the warmth of his mother's arms and the nearness of her heart while he ate.

So, she patiently unbuckled him from his seat, undressed him from his winter bunting, and began to feed him with love. Only he wasn't interested in eating just now, and he began to fidget and squirm. I offered to hold him while she looked over the list of resources that I offered her.

With my hand firmly on his bottom, and his little face nuzzling my shoulder, I gently patted the small of his back, and out came his undigested milk, all over my shoulder. Mom fussed and apologized, but I just had to smile. It had been a long time since I wore spit up on my shoulder! I remember reading a Mother's Day poem about a special place in heaven for mothers whose shoulders carry a faint fragrance of sour milk, and I felt honored as I realized that there had been another baby just like this one; a baby who was poor and cold and hungry; a baby whose overfull stomach most likely emptied its contents on His mother's shoulder many times...

"We know by faith that Christ is in our own family; it is He whom we foster in our children. When you tell your child a story, when you play a game with your little son, you tell a story, you play a game with the Christ Child...A woman too weary for articulate prayer will find that for her the best of all prayer is the unspoken act of faith in Christ in her children. When she knows that she is setting the table and baking the cake for the Christ Child, her soul will be at rest...

An old man whose love for his fellow creatures endeared him to them all confessed that whomever he met-before greeting him out loud-he greeted Christ within him in secret. Such a practice as that, begun darkly in faith, would soon teach us to believe, too, just as genuflecting before the tabernacle teaches babies to believe that God is 'in there.'"

~Caryll Houselander, The Reed of God

God is in that baby with the undigested milk, in the mother rushing about to appointments, and even in the nutritionist trying her best to serve and care for young, struggling mothers and their children. And, so I ask God to bless Himself in us, to help us carry His love to one another, to Himself who suffers so much from the burden of our sin. In this season of Advent as we prepare to give birth to God who gestates within each one of us, as we silently wait for Him to be born anew so that we can show Him to the world through our kind actions and our gentle love, I repeat the words of Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol and I ask Him to please, "God bless us, everyone-God bless the whole world."

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Digital Story of the Nativity

Frank at Why I Am Catholic just posted this after he found it on Fr. James Martin's Facebook page. He predicts that it will go viral. I agree!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Little Orphan Annie/Hands That Will Dip In Any Water

"I will never forget you, I will not leave you orphaned, I will never forget my own."
~from Isaiah 49

When my dad passed away four and a half years ago, I felt a bit orphaned. Although I was forty years old at the time, and had been without my mother since 1999, it wasn't until this time without my dad that I felt truly alone for the first time in my life. It was a strange feeling, and even now, it seems almost silly to write it out. Here I was, a grown woman with a husband and five children, perfectly capable of caring for myself and others, including helping to care for my parents in their last years. How can an adult be an orphan? Isn't that title reserved for little children who lose their parents? Yet, orphaned was a perfect word to describe how I felt in my loneliness for my parents, in my sorrow for my past mistakes and resentments toward them and in my lack of appreciation for all that they had done for me in my life. Why is it that we often fail to really see the love that we have been given until it is gone?

My Mother's Hands

"For years I have been haunted by a single line in an unpublished poem which seems to me to be very close to a definition of sanctity:
'Hands that will dip in any water." (an unpublished poem by Joan Bartlett)
I have seen the hands of a foster-mother chapped and bleeding from continually being dipped in hard water in frosty weather and have thought to myself that the stigmata are not, after all, reserved for a few rare mystics." ~Caryll Houselander
, The Passion of the Infant Christ

The above passage from Caryll Houselander gave me chills the first time I read it, and it continues to chill me each time I read it again. If this is the definition of sanctity, then I am certain that my own mother is in the Kingdom of Heaven with a halo upon her head. You see, for years after my father's diabetes and back injury left him unable to work, my mom supported our large family by working in a factory, a job she despised, yet took on due to necessity. Each day, she had to work with chemicals, dipping her bare hands in the solution which detrimentally affected her health for the rest of her days. The result of working with this chemical caused nerve damage that left my mother's hands with a constant painful burning sensation, and her hands were so swollen and without feeling that she could barely hold on to anything without dropping it. It was rare that she would be seen without an ice pack between her hands to bring a little comfort from the burning sensation. Despite visits to many specialists, it wasn't until the last few years of her life that the brain tumor that had resulted from the chemical nerve damage was found; it was the brain tumor that eventually took her life.

She dipped her hands in any water to support and love her family; to live her calling from God. It was those same hands that held and comforted me as an infant, that spanked me when I misbehaved, that soothed my fevered brow during many illnesses, that fingered countless rosaries during hours of prayer, that lovingly refinished antique furniture bringing it to a smooth and glossy sheen that I can never replicate no matter how hard I try, and that cooked and cleaned for my benefit and for the benefit of my eight brothers and sisters. She was without a doubt, a saint, and if anyone had ever questioned that fact, they had only to look at her swollen and pain-filled hands-her own form of stigmata- and they would know that these were the hands of a truly holy mother.

Today, I look for the stigmata of motherly love in many other hands, and I find it in the friendly wave of an elderly parishioner at the sign of peace, in the firm handshake of our pastor after Mass, in the gentle squeeze of my daughter when she's feeling loving, in the calloused hand of my husband as he works to fix up our old house, and in the nervous trembling of a first-time mother in my WIC Clinic as she hands me her newborn baby to hold. These hands are all signs of the continuation of my mother's love for me. These are hands that will know pain in one form or another, yet through the pain, they will bring love to the world around them.

The "hands that will dip in any water" are the hands of His love that will always surround me and will never leave me orphaned.

...To be continued...Little Orphan Annie/My Father's Eyes...

Friday, December 10, 2010

Read You to Sleep

Snow silently falls during dark of night leaving behind a shimmering, glistening blanket in the morning sun.

Out you go to cover yourself with that white wonder; rolling in it, sliding in it, building a friend of snow with Santa hat and stick arms, until you are completely worn out by the enchantment of cold and white.

After a hot dinner and a warm and fragrant bath, you curl up beside me, your head on my shoulder. I hold you close, your damp hair chilling me. I draw the blanket a bit tighter around us, and I read to you about your day...

"Snow falls, and once again the wonder of childhood is upon us. At first a few separate flakes float down slowly, one by one, then more, faster and faster, filling our eyes with dazzling, dancing whiteness. The movement is more mysterious because it is silent: dancing, wild dancing, with no sound, like voiceless singing! If it made even the tiny tap of hail it would seem to fall into our world, but the silence is absolute; it is we who are walking in another world, a world in which we are ghosts. The falling flakes touch our faces with unimaginable lightness and melt on the faint warmth of our blood, at once elusive and intimate." ~Caryll Houselander-The Passion of the Infant Christ

I feel a new heaviness in your head and hear a quiet rhythm to your breath. Glancing up from the book, I see your drooping eyelids succumbing to the peaceful words and the quiet love in my voice. You simply cannot stay awake for one...more...word.....

Sleep well, my dear, and dream of snow dancing all around you. Tomorrow we will read again of the glory of God's love for you in the joys of nature, in the beauty of life, and in the sweetness of friendships. Your whole life will be a never-ending story of the heavenly delights that await you as I read you to sleep.

Seven Quick Takes-Seven Quick Quotes

Another version of seven great quotes for my seven quick takes contribution:

1. "Nothing awakens our deepest feelings of terror like the experience of separation from love." Gary W. Moon~Falling for God

2. "An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds; for love is measured by its own fullness, not by its reception." Harold Loukes

3. "Every vocation to the priesthood comes from the heart of God, but it goes through the heart of a mother." Pope Pius X

4. "But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls." Kahlil Gibran

5. "God takes our prayer or faithful gesture, whatever it is, and embraces it the way a parent takes a piece of artwork from a preschooler, fusses over its beauty and gives it a place of prominence on the refrigerator. And then God, like a good parent, does what is in the best interest of the child." Mark Neilsen

6. "No matter how far away you are from God, just turn around and God will come after you, because God is your Daddy and all Daddy's love their children. He will help you." Toby Mac

7. "There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness." Josh Billings

Visit Jennifer Fulwiler's Conversion Diary for more Seven Quick Takes

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Becoming Different

On this wonderful Marian Feast Day of the Immaculate Conception, when many are consecrating themselves to Jesus through Mary, I thought it would be fitting to share something I learned from my own re-consecration last October. I was struck by the words of Fr. Don Hying, the day's presenter. He began by reading this passage from True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis de Montfort:

"But who shall those servants, slaves and children of Mary be? They shall be the ministers of the Lord, who, like a burning fire, shall kindle the fire of divine love everywhere. They shall be 'like sharp arrows in the hand of the powerful' Mary to pierce her enemies. (Ps. 126:4). They shall be the sons of Levi, well purified by the fire of great tribulation, and closely adhering to God (1Cor. 6:17), who shall carry the gold of love in their heart, the incense of prayer in their spirit, and the myrrh of mortification in their body. They shall be everywhere the good odor of Jesus Christ to the poor and to the little, while at the same time, they shall be an odor of death to the great, to the rich and to the proud worldlings.

They shall be clouds thundering and flying through the air at the least breath of the Holy Spirit; who, detaching themselves from everything and troubling themselves about nothing, shall shower forth the rain of the Word of God and of life eternal. They shall thunder against sin; they shall storm against the world; they shall strike the devil and his crew; and they shall pierce through and through, for life or for death, with their two-edged sword of the Word of God (Eph. 6:17), all those to whom they shall be sent on the part of the Most High." ~paragraphs 56-57 True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis de Montfort~

Then Fr. Don asked, "Are you ready? This passage is speaking about you. This is the job description of every Christian. To live this is going to cause trouble in your life. It will stir up difficulty; even those close to you will think you're off the deep end. In Hebrew, the word Holy is translated as 'different.' How different are you willing to become in following Jesus?"

My son, Joe, who used to feel the pain my past depression quite keenly, would notice that my tears flowed more freely after I underwent a conversion experience (he called it "turning into a Jesus Freak.") He often questioned why I would suffer so much when I had given my whole heart to the Lord. I found difficulty trying to offer him reassurance until I heard Fr. Don's talk last October. I also found help to respond to his question in the following quote from Caryll Houselander, one of my favorite authors:

"It is the favorite accusation of those who, for reasons of their own, are made uneasy by the sight of someone else's honest attempt to practice Faith, that to save one's own soul is a selfish, egocentric preoccupation which makes one introverted, censorious and withdrawn from other people. In reality the opposite is true. As Christ grows in the soul, suffering and the capacity for suffering increase in the life, and with it the desire to suffer grows, not because of any morbidity, such as masochism; but because if Christ increases, love increases; when the love of God increases, the desire to atone for sin increases, because the lover of man wishes to heal the wounds from which mankind is bleeding to death." ~Caryll Houselander, The Passion of the Infant Christ

So, to Joe, and to others who struggle with the meaning of suffering in the life of a Christian, I echo the words of Fr. Don: "Are you ready? How different are you willing to become in following Jesus?" Let's follow the example of our Blessed Mother and allow the capacity and desire for suffering to increase in our lives as a means of healing the wounds of mankind and of God.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

He Leads, They Follow

"Like a shepherd he feeds his flock; in his arms he gathers the lambs, Carrying them in his bosom, and leading the ewes with care." ~Isaiah 40:11

Today's readings are terribly comforting. I can just picture a pastoral hillside in the early spring morning, dew clinging to the green, mists clearing away in the rays of bright sun, and a beautiful, caring man with tender yet work-worn hands, leading his beloved sheep in the way in which they should go. And with unfailing trust, they follow, knowing that he will never lead them astray.

But, what is even more comforting to me than the imaginary visuals I picture, is the fact that I have seen this image several times in real life, very recently.

He leads~ I received an email from one of my very dearest friends. She and another friend of hers were wondering if I knew of some local hours of adoration. After some recent discussions, they had decided that spending silent time with the Lord was just the boost that their spiritual lives needed. Adoration is something quite new to them and they wanted to give it a try, so I gladly shared some local adoration schedules with her. A few days later, my friend called me to report that her friend couldn't wait and had already gone to be alone with Jesus for an hour, and was hooked! She couldn't wait to go back, and the two of them had a date chosen in the coming days when they would attend together. A blessing! ~They follow

He leads~ Last Sunday as my family and I walked into church for the 7:30 AM Mass, I saw the sweet young teen who has asked me to be her confirmation sponsor. She was all alone, sitting near the back of church. My heart skipped a beat of joy as I embraced her and told her how happy I was to see her there. After Mass, she was working at a table, signing people up for an upcoming blood drive. It's so thrilling to see young people in action, living their faith, without any prompting from the adults in their lives, simply doing what they know in their hearts to be right and true. ~They follow

He leads~ A young woman who had lost her oldest daughter in a tragic car accident a few years ago contacted me recently. Our lives had connected through the power of the Holy Spirit with a simple poem. Since the time of her daughter's funeral, we had become email and facebook buddies, and finally, last summer, I had the honor of meeting her in person and offering her what little comfort could be given to one who continues to suffer so. Hearing her voice on the phone delivering the message she couldn't wait to share with me, was like listening to the voice of an angel. She wanted me to know that she was working on getting her life back together. She was in the process of making plans to have her two little children baptized, and, along with them, she herself wants to be baptized. She will be joining my parish and following through with the plans that God has for her life. ~They follow

Thank You, Jesus, my gentle shepherd, for allowing me to play a small part in the spiritual lives of these women who are longing for you. Perhaps I am the bell quietly ringing to let them know of your presence, maybe I am the fence that holds them together so they can't stray too far from your loving gaze or, perhaps, I am simply the silent witness, praying that You will always hold them close. No matter how You choose to use me, Lord, I thank You. But, most of all, I thank You for desiring and loving all of your little ones, and especially for loving me, the littlest one of all. Amen.

" is not the will of your heavenly Father that one of these little ones be lost.” Matthew 18:14

Friday, December 3, 2010

Seven Quick Takes-Seven Quick Quotes

It' s been a long, long time since I participated in any meme's on this blog. One that I particularly enjoyed doing was my own version of Jennifer Fulwiler's Conversion Diary Seven Quick Takes, not as a recap of my week, but rather, with a collection of some quotes that I particularly enjoy-some of them comforting and others challenging- and would like to share with others. So, here goes!

1. "Try to believe that life is in you like a seed, pushing, striving, struggling up to light. Instead of fighting yourself, let this seed of supernatural life fight it's way out through darkness, just as an ordinary seed fights up through the darkness and heaviness of the hard, frozen earth. First it has to sharpen its own green blade in the night and cut through the ground, or pierce the wood if it is a leaf on the tree, but suddenly it breaks into flower or leaf; and when it does that, it does not see its own beauty-the world outside it sees that; what it sees is the glorious sun that drew it up out of the darkness. Light. So too will it be with you; your soul, your mind will break into flower and you will find it is flowering in the midst of light, the light of Truth and Beauty and Life." Caryll Houselander: The Seed of Supernatural Life

2. "A mother is the most important person on earth. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any Cathedral-a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's body." Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty (Think of how, even more so, this applies to our Blessed Mother, Mary.)

3. "The greatest grace God can give such a man is to send him to a trial he cannot bear with his own powers and then sustain him with His grace so he may endure to the end and be saved." Walter Ciszek: He Leadeth Me

4."Stop entertaining those vain fears. Remember it is not feeling which constitutes guilt but the consent to such feelings. Only the free will is capable of good or evil. But, when the will sighs under the trial of the tempter and does not will what is presented to it, there is not only no fault, there is virtue." St. Padre Pio (I find this to be incredibly comforting-don't you?)

5. "Contempt and persecution are blessed signs of divine favor, but there is no proof or sign of favor more beautiful than this: to pass unnoticed." Josemaria Escriva: The Way

6. "One sign that we are not in God's will is the experiencing of what we are doing as a burden." Monsignor Charles Pope

7. "It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love." Henri Nouwen

Much to ponder here...I hope you found that at least one of these quotes struck a chord within the music of your heart and that you will feel prompted to ponder it as it becomes music to your soul.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

O Come, Let Us Adore Him!

(Catholic Herald photo by Ernie Mastroianni)

Our family pediatrician is an amazing man. He always supports parents in their difficult job by giving good advice to his little patients at every visit, such as:

"Always eat your vegetables."
"Make sure you wear your helmet every time you ride your bike."
"Get an hour of fresh air and exercise every day."
"Obey your parents the first time they tell you to do something."
"Do your homework and your chores right away."
and for the teens-"No dating until you're thirty!"

It's great for our kids to hear those words of healthy living from figures of authority other than parents once in a while, so I have always been very grateful to Dr. Andrew Swietlik for being a wonderful doctor, but now, I am grateful to him for so much more!

Recently, Karen Mahoney, a gifted writer for the Milwaukee Catholic Herald, wrote a story about the 25th anniversary of the perpetual Adoration Chapel at St. Mary's Parish in Elm Grove, WI. The accompanying picture on the front page of the paper featured Dr. Swietlik with three of his nine children. According to the story, Dr. Swietlik and his wife take their nine children to adoration every week, and sometimes, their children will attend on their own, encouraging their friends to go with them and spend some time with the Lord.

This was such a beautiful story that warmed my heart when I read it, but now, after I heard about a wonderful occurrence that came about because of this story, I find that my heart is not only warm, but on fire with a blaze that I hope will spread to many other hearts as well.

My niece, Jenny, has begun Eucharistic Adoration at her parish and it is offered there every Tuesday from 9am to 5pm. Ever since the Adoration program began, she had been asking the school principal to consider having the school children take part on a regular basis. She called me yesterday with the most exciting news. It seems that the principal of her parish school had read the story about Dr. Swietlik and his family and has decided that, yes, the entire student body of St. Mary's in Waukesha will now be attending Eucharistic Adoration as part of their school day at least once a month!

I don't think that when Dr. Swietlik and his wife began taking their family to adoration, they had any idea of what a great example they would be setting not only for their children but, for so many others as well. Isn't it amazing how God can take one person or family and their love in action for Him, and use it to attract so many others to follow suit? What can you do, or are already doing, that might attract others to join you in building their own relationship with God?

To read the Catholic Herald story in its entirety, visit this link.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

St. Andrew's Christmas Novena

I'm usually a pretty big Scrooge this time of year. Maybe it's from hearing Christmas music blaring on the radio for an entire month already. Honestly, if I hear "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" one more time, I just may throw something at the radio! Or, maybe it's all the stress of decorating, baking, shopping and trying to stay within a budget (I never succeed!) But this year, for some unknown reason, I am feeling a bit more joyous. Maybe it's because I'm not pressuring myself to shop, bake cookies or decorate until it gets closer to Christmas. Maybe it's because I'm not forcing myself to send out Christmas cards. Could it possibly be because I have decided to make this Advent more prayerful, more quiet, more penitential?

I'm not sure, because although I had decided that this year I would forgo drinks and treats until Christmas, here I am eating a piece of my boss' store-bought birthday cake, while I salivate over the thought of how delicious my own homemade Walnut Mocha birthday cake, lovingly prepared by my husband on the 45th anniversary of my birth, will taste tomorrow. It's not even two days in to Advent and I have already caved to temptation with the anticipation of even more caving to come shortly. Sigh... But, I am not going to beat myself up about it. I am going to get back up on my donkey and continue the Advent ride, working to make my heart not just an empty space where Christ can be born, but a warm and inviting place where he will eagerly long to reside even more than I look forward to my birthday cake.

Although this glutton may frequently fail in her attempts to fast and abstain from goodies, I have the holy St. Andrew to thank for my success in making the season more prayerful. The reason I thank St. Andrew is because today, on his feast day, I begin the annual St. Andrew's Christmas Novena. It's one of my favorite prayerful traditions that goes back to my childhood days when my family and I would pray it after our evening rosary, from November 30th until Christmas Eve. The lovely words of the prayer make it so easy to conjure up an image in my mind of that cold and fearful night when our Lord was born.

Although it is promised that by repeating the prayer fifteen times each day, the one praying will obtain their request, I can only remember one time in my life that my intention was quickly and positively heard and answered, but what a glorious answer that was! It was back in 1990 when Operation Desert Storm had just been declared on November 29th. That year, I prayed for peace and a quick end to the conflict in which the United States had become involved. How thrilled I was that it was all over by February 27th, 1991, when President Bush called an end to the war! But I am sure that in many small and unknown ways, my St. Andrew's Novenas have been heard and relished by the Lord, whether or not I was aware of any answer.

Thank you, St. Andrew, for helping me to keep a spirit of Advent every year, even if it is only for the short time that it takes me to pray your novena!

St. Andrew's Christmas Novena

Hail, and blessed be the hour and moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. At that hour vouchsafe, O my God, to hear my prayer and grant my desires through the merits of our Savior, Jesus Christ and of His Blessed Mother. Amen.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Spiritual Christmas Crib

My family and I build a spiritual Christmas Crib each Advent. We begin our days by individually reading the plan for the day and then do our best to live it. At dinner time, after we light the Advent Wreath, we review the day's plan and share a discussion about how successful we were in our attempts to build part of Jesus' crib.


The following directions show you how to build a
spiritual crib in your heart for Christ.
Use it to put Christ into your Christmas in a real,
living way.

Start on December 1. Read the thought indicated
about Christ's first crib.
Practice it during the day. Do this daily during
December and make your heart a worthy crib for
Christ on Christmas Day.

Frequently during the day offer your heart to the
little Infant Jesus. Ask Him to make it His home. -
Sweet Jesus, take my heart and make it meek and

See that the roof of the stable is in good
condition, so that the Infant Jesus is protected
from rain and snow. This you will do by carefully
avoiding every uncharitable remark. --Jesus,
teach me to love my neighbor as myself.

Carefully stop every crevice in the walls of the
stable, so that the wind and cold may not enter
there. Guard your senses against temptations. Guard
especially your ears against sinful
conversations.--Jesus, help me to keep
temptations out of my heart.

Clean the cobwebs from your spiritual crib.
Diligently remove from your heart every
inordinate desire of being praised. Renew this
intention at least three times today. --My Jesus,
I want to please You in all I do today.

Build a fence about the crib of your heart by
keeping a strict watch over your eyes, especially
at prayer. --Sweet Jesus, I long to see You.

Fix the best and warmest corner of your heart
for the manger of Jesus. You will do so by
abstaining from what you like most in the line of
comfort and amusement. --Mary, use these
sacrifices to prepare my heart for Jesus in
Holy Communion.

Supply the manger of your heart with hay, by
overcoming all feelings of pride, anger or envy.
Jesus, teach me to know and correct my greatest

Provide your manger with soft straw by
performing little acts of mortification; for
instance, bear the cold without complaints; or sit
and stand erect. --Dear Jesus, Who suffered so
much for me, let me suffer for love of You.

Prepare these for the Divine Infant by folding
your hands when you pray, and praying slowly and
thoughtfully. --Jesus let me love you more and

Provide the manger with soft warm
blankets. Avoid harsh and angry words; be kind and
gentle to all. --Jesus, help me to be meek and
humble like You.

Bring fuel to the crib of Jesus. Give up your own
will; obey your superiors cheerfully and
promptly. --Jesus, let me do Your will in all

Bring fresh clean water to the crib. Avoid every
untruthful word and every deceitful act.
--Dearest Mary, obtain for me true contrition for
my sins.

Bring a supply of food to the crib. Deprive
yourself of some food at mealtime or candy as a
treat. --Jesus, be my strength and nourishment.

See that the crib has sufficient light. Be
neat and orderly about your person; keep
everything in its place in your room. --Jesus, be
the life and light of my soul.

Take care to have the crib of your heart warmed
by a cozy fire. Be grateful to God for the love He
has shown us in becoming man; behave with grateful
respect towards your parents and relatives. --
Jesus, how can I return Your love; how can I show
my gratitude to You?

Lead the ox to the crib. Obey cheerfully without
making excuses and without asking "why." --I will
obey for love of You, Jesus.

Bring the donkey to the crib. Offer to the Divine
Infant your bodily strength; use it in the service
of others. --Jesus, accept my service of love;
I offer it for those who do not love You.

Gather some presents for the Divine Infant and
His Blessed Mother. Give alms for the poor and say
an extra decade of the rosary. --Come, Jesus, to
accept my gifts and to take possession of my heart.

Strive to bring some little lambs, meek and
and patient. Do not murmer or complain.
--Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make
my heart like Yours.

Invite the shepherds to pay homage to our newborn
King. Imitate their watchfulness; stress in your
speech and thoughts the idea that Christmas is
important because Jesus will be born again in
Jesus, teach me to love You above all things.

Provide the stable with a key to keep out
thieves. Exclude from your heart every sinful
thought, every rash judgment --Dear Jesus, close
my heart to all that hurts you.

Invite the angels to adore God with you.
Cheerfully obey the inspirations of
your guardian angel and of your conscience. --
Holy Guardian Angel, never let me forget that You
are with me always.

Accompany Saint Joseph from door to door. Learn
from him silently and patiently to bear refusals
and disappointments. Open wide your heart and beg
Him to enter with the Blessed Virgin Mary.
--Saint Joseph, help me to prepare for a worthy
Christmas Communion.

Go meet your Blessed Mother. Lead her to the
manger of your heart and beg her to lay the
Divine Infant in it. Shorten your chats and
telephone conversations and spend more time today
thinking of Jesus and Mary and Joseph.
--Come, dear Jesus, Come; my heart belongs to You.

"Devotions in Preparation for the Coming of the
Christchild, and at the Crib, from Christmas to

by Rev. Frederic Nelson, published by Marian
House, Powers Lake, ND 58773

I Wish We'd All Been Ready

I love this song by DC Talk. Every time I hear today's Gospel reading from Matthew 24:37-44, this song runs through my mind.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“As it was in the days of Noah,
so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.
In those days before the flood,
they were eating and drinking,
marrying and giving in marriage,
up to the day that Noah entered the ark.
They did not know until the flood came and carried them all away.
So will it be also at the coming of the Son of Man.
Two men will be out in the field;
one will be taken, and one will be left.
Two women will be grinding at the mill;
one will be taken, and one will be left.
Therefore, stay awake!
For you do not know on which day your Lord will come.
Be sure of this: if the master of the house
had known the hour of night when the thief was coming,
he would have stayed awake
and not let his house be broken into.
So too, you also must be prepared,
for at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come.”

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Vigil for all Nascent Human Life

What a blessing it was to honor the request of Pope Benedict XVI by joining in a worldwide vigil of prayer for all nascent human life! In the Archdiocese of Milwaukee the gorgeous St. Anthony Parish had graciously hosted the Evening Prayer, Rosary and Benediction with Archbishop Listecki. I was so pleased to see that the large church was packed with those who wished to join their voices with their brothers and sisters in Christ in one united prayer for those who are unable to speak for themselves.

In Archbishop Listecki's homily, the following words resounded in my heart and I will forever remember them. He asked: "Why do we do this? We are people of love. We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us and we share that love with our unborn brothers and sisters."

He closed the service with these words: "Our Lord Jesus Christ has won the victory, and now we must engage the battle!" How strange it seems that the victory is already won, yet we continue to fight. Yet, how right it is! For until everyone accepts the victory of Christ, until everyone defends the innocent lives just waiting to born like Christ waited to be born from the womb of the Virgin after her resounding "yes!" we must continue the efforts without tiring, to bring the justice of life to those sweet beginnings of new life. What better time to unite our efforts for those who wait to be born from the wombs of their mothers than during this season of Advent while we wait for Christ to be born once again in the hearts of all the world.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Stay, Just a Little Bit Longer

"Oh won’t you stay just a little bit longer
Please, please, please say you will
Say you will

Oh won’t you stay just a little bit longer
Oh please, please stay just a little bit more"

~Jackson Browne~Stay~

It's no secret that I have a great admiration for priests; those good and holy men who sacrifice so much to raise their spiritual children in the faith and inspire them to dedicate their souls to the love of God and His church. It takes a very, very special person to give their all, to work tirelessly and endlessly with very little earthly reward, just to answer God's persistent call to the the service of the Church as a priest.

I want to do all I can to support our good and holy priests as well as those who struggle and suffer through their vocation. Last summer, I found out about a wonderful lay apostolate called the "Monthly Prayer Request for Priests." Seeing that there was no such apostolate offered in Milwaukee, I just knew that God was calling me to begin this effort to support the priests in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee with the heartfelt prayers of the laity who rely so heavily on our priests to bring us the sacraments, to support us in our failures and sufferings, to encourage us to remain faithful and to be with us in the most important sacramental moments of our lives, but, most of all to bring Christ to us in the Eucharist and to be Christ for us in the sacrifice of their lives.

So, last August, after much research and prayer, the Monthly Prayer Request for Priests was established in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee with the support of the Archdiocesan Vocations Office at the Seminary of St. Francis de Sales. I am so pleased that the Lord has seen fit to use me in this way and am honored and humbled to give my all to this apostolate.

And perhaps it's because I feel so strongly about this work, that the news of priests who leave their vocation seems to hit me like a punch in the stomach. In the Archdiocese of Milwaukee, we have recently lost two very good and fairly new (less than five years as priests) men who have decided with very little forewarning to the parishes they served, that they needed to take a leave to discern their future. Although it's not the worst thing in the world, especially compared to the horrendous distress caused by abusive priests, something in me just feels so hurt by a priest who decides he can't continue in his vocation. I guess I could best describe it as how a child of divorced parents would feel. This vow to the priesthood was supposed to last forever. What could have happened that would pull a priest away from this life-long commitment to the church? I can't help but wonder what the church or the parish might have done to keep the priest in his vocation for a little while longer. What could we as a church have done differently that might have kept these priests from leaving? And do you suppose that if they had just stayed for just a little bit longer, they might have decided to stay forever?

As the mother of a teen discerning a call to the priesthood, I can't help but worry. Am I wrong to encourage my son to a vocation to the priesthood? Will he also want to leave after a short time? Is it normal for a diocese to lose a few priests each year? Are there any statistics kept on this, I wonder? And why is it that this shakes my faith so much? I suppose that most of these questions don't have any easy answers and maybe they don't have any answers at all. All I can do for my part is to continue to blindly follow the Lord, to obediently live my faith and to continue to pray and to encourage others to pray for those who have left the priesthood, for those who are considering leaving and especially for those who continue to press on regardless of the difficulties they suffer in their priesthood.

Prayer for Priests by Fr William Doyle, SJ

O my God, pour out in abundance Thy spirit of sacrifice upon Thy priests. It is both their glory and their duty to become victims, to be burnt up for souls, to live without ordinary joys, to be often the objects of distrust, injustice, and persecution.

The words they say every day at the altar, "This is my Body, this is my Blood," grant them to apply to themselves: "I am no longer myself, I am Jesus, Jesus crucified. I am, like the bread and wine, a substance no longer itself, but by consecration another."

O my God, I burn with desire for the sanctification of Thy priests. I wish all the priestly hands which touch Thee were hands whose touch is gentle and pleasing to Thee, that all the mouths uttering such sublime words at the altar should never descend to speaking trivialities.

Let priests in all their person stay at the level of their lofty functions, let every man find them simple and great, like the Holy Eucharist, accessible to all yet above the rest of men. O my God, grant them to carry with them from the Mass of today, a thirst for the Mass of tomorrow, and grant them, ladened themselves with gifts, to share these abundantly with their fellow men. Amen.

Sunday, November 21, 2010


There's so much to be thankful for and it makes me glad for this time of year when we pause from our busy lives long enough to acknowledge how grateful we are to our Lord who makes everything possible; to whom we can never do enough to show our gratitude.

Every year at this time, the WIC Clinic where I work participates in a local family-to-family Thanksgiving dinner give-away. An area non-profit agency purchases turkey dinners for needy families through their donations set aside for this purpose. Then they send letters out to other agencies whose purpose is to serve the down and out, asking them to help distribute the dinners. Each year, our WIC Clinic receives 25 turkey dinners which we raffle off to our clients.

As I am the only employee at our clinic who drives a "family-size" car, it becomes my job to go pick up the dinners. The process is extremely efficient! The agencies are to arrive with their letters at 10:00 AM. A long line of cars, trucks and vans pulls into the agency driveway and as each car arrives at the donation station, a group of volunteers opens all of the car doors and loads the car up with the necessary number of turkey dinners. After my van is loaded up with the 25 dinners, I drive back to work where a co-worker meets me at the loading dock and we unload the groceries from my van onto carts and we haul the food up to our Clinic. Twenty five families have already been called and told that they have won turkey dinners, so by 1:00 in the afternoon, they begin to arrive at the clinic to gather up their Thanksgiving food packages. It's a joy to participate in this annual give-away!

So, with that, I would like to make a list of some of the many things for which I am very grateful to God and I will begin it with my gratitude for my Catholic faith, my job, my family and friends, plenty of food, and a warm and cozy house to live in.

To those basic thanks, I add some recent specifics...

Mary was doing homework at the kitchen table while I cooked dinner and out of the blue she asked me how long it has been since we've gone to confession, and then added that she hopes we go real soon, she's got lots she wants to get off her chest. I am always happy to oblige with a visit to a nearby church where we can celebrate the sacrament, and I am grateful for a daughter who is aware of her need for God's forgiveness.

On a lazy Saturday morning I awoke from a crazy, silly dream and realized that I woke up because I was laughing so loud. I looked over to my husband and saw him smiling too, wondering what on earth could be so funny, and then I burst out laughing again. What a wonderful way to start the day!

I love Sundays! I love to rise early and attend the first Mass of the day with my family. When we come home, I love to exchange my dress clothes for something comfy and spend a relaxing day at home. I enjoy cooking a big Sunday dinner that fills the house with warmth and delicious smells as everyone anxiously awaits mealtime.

I recently had the joy of picking John up from a weekend away visiting the college Seminary and he talked non-stop on the half hour drive home about all of the wonderful things he experienced and how much he enjoyed his time there. It was wonderful to hear him say that he could easily see himself attending college at the Seminary!

I love being able to share my thoughts and prayers on this blog and to know that there are others who share those same thoughts and prayers. This big world really isn't so big, is it?

I am grateful for many opportunities to kneel in prayer, pouring out my heart until it is empty, ready and waiting for God to fill it with His love and the knowledge of His will for me.

For all of these blessings, and for so much more, I thank you, Lord!

Friday, November 19, 2010

The Abandoned Boat

The only audible sound was that of the waves quietly lapping over the rocks. A cold, damp November wind blew around me causing me to pull my coat collar tightly around my neck. I kept my head bent to the ground, looking for glints of sea glass on the sandy shore. As I followed the shoreline around the bend, I saw the boat anchored not too far from land. That boat, anchored in the same spot all summer long and now heading into winter, had captured my attention time and again. I wondered who it might belong to and why had they left it there. Did someone live on the boat and row to shore each day for work? Were they cold and lonely living out there? Could I live like that? Those were my usual thoughts, but today, something seemed different. Maybe it was because I approached the boat from the north, the opposite of my normal routine, but now, I could clearly understand the story of the boat.

It had belonged to Peter. Day after day he worked the lake, catching those mighty fish that jumped through the surface with reckless abandon. How he envied the fish, wishing he could somehow escape his dull and dreary life on the water, but nothing else had captured his heart and held it like the water did. He knew that he was meant to spend his days and nights on this cold and endless lake, thoughts drifting across the horizon without ever showing any signs of change in the future, that is, until that fateful day when he saw the Lord approaching, slowly walking across the misty water. He rubbed his sleepy eyes, unsure if this was a vision, or perhaps, a dream.

Now Jesus reached his arms out to Peter, calling him to come close. Filled with fear, Peter called out, "Depart from me, Lord! I am a sinful man!" But Jesus came even closer, close enough so that Peter could hear him reply, "Peter, your sin can't keep me away from you. I love you with your sin, and I want to help you to leave it behind."

And Peter took courage from those words, he pulled his coat tightly around his shoulders, and stepped out of the boat, towards the Lord. At first he faltered, unable to believe that he could really do this, really walk across the lake. He looked down, only for a moment, but that was all it took to shake his faith and he began to sink. "Eyes on me!" Jesus called out. "Keep looking to me, Peter, I am all you need for strength, to stay above the waves of doubt," and he reached out his hand to pull Peter to the surface once again.

Peter would never again return to the boat that had been his abode and his life-source. With his eyes forever looking to the Lord, his horizon became wider than ever before, filled with love, joy and peace that could not be found in his solitude on the water; that could only be found in the companionship of Jesus. And the boat remains anchored to that very spot where Peter left it, forever a symbol of our need to leave our past behind in favor of new life in Christ.

I continued my walk, uplifted by the knowledge that God would always find a way to remind me that I, too, like Peter, am called to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus as I step out of my own boat of seclusion and sinfulness and journey to the freedom that only He can provide.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Jack and Mary

Screams of delight
come from the kitchen.
Jack and Mary are building domino towers
and laugh as they tumble.
Their laughter
is contagious and beautiful!

They are the best of friends
doing nearly everything

And while they may play
together one minute,
they just as easily
will begin to argue
like an old married couple
the next.

A quick hug
and they are right back
to playing again.

Thank you, Lord,
for Jack and Mary
and their witness
to Your love through
their joy and forgiveness.


While relaxing at the beach on our camping vacation, Jack and Mary found a way to crack large rocks open to see how they glitter inside. Mary brought a rock to me and shared a memory from first grade, "Sister Rita said that even the most plain rocks like this one are beautiful inside. She was right!"

So, Mary and I compared rocks to people and we decided that even the most plain people are beautiful inside as well, because God is there.

Thank you, God, for this lesson on Your Holy Presence in our lives in the midst of our family vacation. And thank you for Sister Rita, who continues to teach us even when we aren't with her!

(photo taken 9/2010 at Devil's Lake State Park)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

More Than Just Old Bones!

My parish has a quarterly newsletter for which I write (you're surprised about that, right?) We have been running a Catholic Trivia Series and this is my latest installment. Do you like the title? I thought it was fitting for this blog, and for me because very soon I will be celebrating my 45th birthday and although my bones do audibly creak from time to time, I hope that I won't be looked at as just some old bones from now on!

When someone that we love moves away or dies, we long to keep a personal memento of that loved one so that we can look upon it with fond memories and it will become a reminder to pray for that person, and perhaps, to ask that person to pray for us. It’s no different in the Church. When someone who has lived a good and holy life has been elevated to the status of sainthood, we like to have those visual reminders that personal mementos provide to let us know that our beloved saint always remains with us in spirit. This is how relics can come to be a source of support in remembering the saints and in helping us to grow in holiness by turning to them in prayer.

A relic is often a piece of bone, but can also be a piece of clothing or other personal item, that had belonged to a saint and has been preserved and stored in a reliquary, or container specifically meant for holding relics, so that the faithful can venerate or honor that saint as a means to draw us into adoration of God, for whom the saintly person lived their life. The word relic is based on the Latin term “reliquiae” which means “remains.”

The practice of venerating relics is carried out in many world religions including Buddhism, Hinduism and Christianity. The Christian practice of venerating relics dates back to the Old Testament book of Kings: “So Elisha died and they buried him. Now bands of Moabites used to invade the land in the spring of the year. And as a man was being buried, lo, a marauding band was seen and the man was cast into the grave of Elisha; and as soon as the man touched the bones of Elisha, he revived, and stood on his feet.” (2 Kings 13:20-21)

Another very moving example of the use of relics comes from the New Testament where a woman was cured of her hemorrhage just by touching the hem of Jesus’ cloak. She didn’t need to touch the body of Jesus or even to speak to him, but by simply reaching out to the fabric of his clothing in faith, a healing miracle occurred.

Now, today, we can’t really claim that the veneration of the relics of saints will bring about miracles, but it can draw us deeper into the mystery of God and the lives of His saints by spending some time praying over relics and reflecting on the lives of the people that they represent.

Perhaps the first saint whose relics were venerated after the time of Christ was St. Polycarp. According to Catholic Answers, the early Christians who were with him when he was burned at the stake saw to it that his remains were well cared for and they recorded the event with these words: “We took up his bones, which are more valuable than precious stones and finer than refined gold, and laid them in a suitable place, where the Lord will permit us to gather ourselves together, as we are able, in gladness and joy and to celebrate the birthday of his martyrdom.”

There are several different classes of relics. A first class relic is a part of the Saint’s physical body such as a piece of bone or hair and also the instruments of Christ’s passion such as a sliver of wood from the cross. A second-class relic is something owned by the Saint or instruments of torture used against a martyr. A third class relic is something that was touched to a first or second-class relic. It is possible to make a third class relic by touching a first or second-class relic, including the tomb of a Saint, with an object, for example, a rosary or a holy card. When relics are placed inside of churches, they are kept in one of two places: in a space inside of an altar or in a reliquary, a container specifically meant for the storage and veneration of relics.

In some cases, the body of a saint is found to be incorruptible, or without decay, when it is exhumed. In these cases, rather than separating the pieces of bones and sharing them throughout the world, the remains of the body are usually kept whole, possibly covered with wax or silicone for protection and aesthetics. There are many famous saints whose bodies are venerated as incorruptible relics such as St. Catherine Laboure from whom we received the Miraculous Medal of Mary, St. John Vianney, the patron saint of all priests, and St. Bernadette Soubirous who was the visionary at Lourdes, France.

Here in the United States there are only ten saints whose entire bodies are available for veneration. One of these can be found in Galesburg, Illinois. Fr. Jim Kubicki, SJ, the National Director of the Apostleship of Prayer based in Milwaukee, recently paid a visit to Corpus Christi Church in Galesburg, and shares the fascinating story of St. Crescent on his blog, Offer It Up:

Around 1838 the body of a nine or ten year old boy was discovered during excavations of the catacombs of St. Cyriacus in Rome. He suffered martyrdom at that young age around the end of the third century in the persecution of the emperor Diocletian, one of the fiercest persecutions of the early Church. His name "Cresces" (anglicized to "Crescent") was on the marble slab that covered the tomb and next to the body was an urn in which had been placed the blood of the martyr now dried.

The body of St. Crescent was removed and the Holy Father gave it to Blessed Antonio Rosmini, founder of the Institute of Charity or Rosminians. Father Rosmini had the relic taken to Stresa, Italy, where it was placed under the altar of his chapel. In 1887, Rosminian Father Joseph Costa asked his superiors if he could have the relic for the church he had just built in Galesburg, Illinois. His superiors agreed.

St. Crescent's body was enclosed in a case of thin glass and Fr. Costa worried that it wouldn't make the long trip to the U.S. without being damaged. He expressed his concern to his superiors, one of whom told him: "St. Crescent will take care of himself, and you too!" And so it happened. The relic survived intact on the railroad trips through Italy, France, England, and from New York to Galesburg, but what was more remarkable was his ocean passage. Fr. Costa planned on crossing the Atlantic on a ship called "Alesia." Either because he suddenly changed his mind or because he missed the departure time, Fr. Costa and St. Cresent missed the boat. But the "Alesia" never completed the voyage; it mysteriously disappeared. Fr. Costa along with St. Crescent, having boarded a different ship, arrived safely.

You can see the body of St. Crescent in a glass case on the right side of Corpus Christi church. The bones are covered with wax except for two wounds through which you can see an arm bone and the skull. You can also see the teeth of the martyr through his partially opened mouth.”

Pictured: St. Crescent