Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Liquid Prayer

Last Winter I spent many bitter moments shedding tears of sorrow and depression, so when the joy finally arrived to my heart late this Spring, I was most grateful to brush aside those wet streaks that were forever running down my cheeks and replace them with the wrinkles of a smile. This morning, for the first time in months, I felt the tears hovering at the brim of my eyes once again, but this time, I didn’t quickly wipe them away and I felt no embarrassment over them, for I recognized that they were not tears of sorrow, but rather, they were tears of a different sort; they were tears of gratitude for a life full of living and full of love. I gladly let these tears linger, for I knew they were a most special prayer offered to my God who brought me out of the depths and into the light.

In this year when I am learning to accept whatever crosses or blessings that God chooses to bestow upon me, I choose to list these blessings which I have gratefully accepted and for which I am pleased to let the water of sacred tears fall.

-for a thriving and lush backyard garden abundant in blackberries, tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, eggplant and peppers

-for the presence of Mr. C at daily Mass after a long absence due to illness. His smile that shone through his pain as he entered the church was a bright spot in my day, and as I watched him struggle to change posture from sitting, to kneeling to standing, I was reminded of our beloved Pope John Paul II from whom we learned so much about the joy that is found within great suffering.

-for the lovely sight of Deacon Christopher Klusman standing like an angel at the altar beside Fr. Dave

-for newly ordained priests and deacons who lift up spirits with their fresh perspectives on the Gospel

-for the opportunity to serve families in need each day, and hopefully make a difference in their lives, bring a little love to their hearts and comfort to their weary souls. Today my heart goes out to a twenty-one year old single mother with four children under the age of five. I remember a time when my four oldest children were all five years old and younger, and I know how hard it is to get through each day, so I am also grateful…

-for my loving husband who has been right by my side every step of the way as we parent our five children together. He does so much…he loves so much, and I know that I could not manage without him

-for our sweet little guinea pig, Daisy, who lets me hold her in the evenings and find comfort in stroking her soft fur. It’s stress relief without the calories of chocolate!

-for my daughter who is taking on the cleaning chores at home this summer to relieve me of some efforts at the end of long and busy days at work

-for the job opportunities which came to my three oldest sons this summer, all through connections at our parish…
John is working full-time at the parish cleaning, doing yard work and general maintenance, Justin is busy mowing lawn for some of the elderly parishioners, and Joe has been asked to assist Fr. Dave with some office chores…
Their employment is a great blessing and I hope that my boys will see that their attendance at daily Mass and all of their service to the parish has provided immediate temporal benefits as well as the many spiritual benefits that will hopefully come in the future

For all of these gifts I am so very thankful, but the one gift which stands out among my list of acceptance, and the one that surprises me the most when I realize that I truly am grateful for it, since I had spent the Winter months bemoaning it, is the gift of tears, sweetly dripping from the corners, blurring my vision of this present reality while clarifying my vision of the joys to come in His kingdom.

“It’s such a secret place, the land of tears.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery


  1. Thank you for sharing this. There are many types of tears, including the 'gift of tears'.
    Thank you for your kind words posted the other day. The heart has many rivers. Peace, Mary

  2. "And Jesus wept." How many times those words of Saint John have brought consolation! You have written beautifully, dear Anne, of this precious gift from the secret place of the soul. May God bless you and Our Lady protect you.

  3. what a beautiful post, which is what I find every time I come to visit you. I shall have to read some of your older tposts to get more of your story. but I'm so inspired and encouraged by your transparency, and more so, your gratefulness.

  4. "Liquid prayer" - how beautiful! You have a way with words, Anne, and I found this post very moving.

  5. Such a beautiful post!! Thank you!

  6. Interesting that the Gift of Tears really has little to do with the emotional rollercoaster we call life. It has more to do with an awareness of the presence of God. Anne, as evidenced by your writings, you obviously have a keen awareness of Our Lord's presence in your life. Your heart has a holy open door policy, always willing to let Him in and those He sends to you.

  7. You were once such a little girl, but now I see you've all grown up. And you have learned so much along the way.
    Be happy in your tears, my friend, be happy. It's just a sign of His grace overflowing.

  8. Simply beautiful Ann! I wonder if our Lady ever wept...
    I had to walk to Mass this morning. Usually I pray the Rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet when I walk. Today, I wanted to "count my blessings". When you stop and think about all the blessings from God, the list is endless.

  9. I gave you an award today. Stop on by. http://lovemylittleflower.blogspot.com/2010/07/thank-you-to-familia-catolica.html

  10. Really beautiful post Anne. It is astonishing how many blessings He bestows upon us all. Thank you for helping me remember to thank God often for all His gifts.

  11. a beautiful litany of thanksgiving. thank you.