Novena for the Faithful Departed

Marquette University High School Three Holy Companions Chapel

In my previous post on Achieving Graciousness I wrote about the Tenorio family who had lost their patriarch and yet still found the strength to attend Sunday morning Mass the day after his death, and more than that, some of the children in the family continued to fulfill their liturgical obligations while in their state of shock and grief.  Since that Sunday morning I learned so much about their Filipino culture and faith and have become even more impressed than I had already been.

Filipino's are traditionally devout Catholics and the Tenorio's are no exception.  Angelito Tenorio passed away on Saturday, January 26th  from what was believed to be a heart attack at the young age of 59.  By mid-week, my son Jack (who is a classmate of Anbel, the youngest child in the Tenorio family who had been understandably absent from class all week) came home from school and told us that the family had been holding a nightly prayer service at 6:30 PM each night in their home and everyone was invited to come and pray with them.  We had thought that perhaps Jack meant that the prayer service was just for immediate family members, but Jack said that some of his classmates had been going and assured us that anyone was welcome to join them.  We later learned that another custom associated with the novena prayer service is that the invitations all come about by word of mouth-no formal invitations to prayer are distributed.

Our Lady of Fatima

So on Friday night my children and I paid a visit to the Tenorio household for the prayer service and found the house to be bursting at the seams with people including many of Jack's classmates and their families.  I shouldn't have been surprised by the crowd, though, because the Tenorio family are such kind and loving people to everyone they meet that it is only logical that they would have many friends who would feel called to pray and grieve with them.  The prayer service was actually part of a Filipino tradition that called for a novena of prayers for the Faithful Departed.  A large statue of Our Lady of Fatima, a crucifix, candles and flowers were set up where everyone gathered to pray.  Prayer sheets were distributed to everyone as they arrived.  We began with the rosary and then followed along with the prayer sheets. Following the prayer service, a hearty buffet was served and everyone enjoyed a lovely time.  I was profoundly moved to realize that every night for the nine days following Angelito's death the same scene unfolded in the Tenorio home.  I find it challenging enough to host a large dinner at my home for special occasions once or twice a year, but the idea of hosting such a big event for nine consecutive nights while in a state of grief greatly impresses me.

The final novena prayer was held on Sunday, and instead of being held in the Tenorio home, arrangements were made to pray in the Chapel at Marquette University High School where the oldest Tenorio son graduated and two of the other boys are currently enrolled.  After the novena prayers, a special Sunday Mass in Angelito's honor was concelebrated by three priests with easily two hundred people in attendance.  The High School choir sang for the Mass which was followed by yet another feast in the school cafeteria.

The entire Tenorio family was extremely gracious and kind throughout this time of grieving.  They were thankful for all of the people who took time to join them in their grief and to pay their respects to their beloved deceased relative.  I am deeply indebted to Belinda Tenorio who was able to carry on this beautiful tradition of prayer and respect for her deceased husband with the greatest of strength, dignity and charity.  I learned a lot from her about prayer, hospitality and love for family by observing her composure in deep grief.

This traditional novena prayer is such a lovely way to honor the dead. The funeral for Angelito has been planned for next week Saturday to allow family members who live in the Philippines enough travel time to attend, so joining in the Novena for the Faithful Departed was a beautiful way to hold Angelito in prayer while waiting for his final commendation to God. Would you pray for Angelito, too?

Some of the prayers from the novena are below:

  LITANY FOR THE FAITHFUL DEPARTED

Leader: Lord, have mercy on us.
All: Lord, have mercy on us.
Leader: Christ, have mercy on us.
All: Christ, have mercy on us.
Leader: Lord, have mercy on us.
All: Lord, have mercy on us.
Leader: Christ, hear us.
All: Christ, graciously hear us.

Leader: God, the Father of heaven.
Response (All): Have mercy on the soul of__________________
Leader: God the Son, Redeemer of the world.
God, the Holy Spirit. Holy Trinity One God.
Leader: Holy Mary.

Response (All): PRAY FOR THE SOULS OF THE
FAITHFUL DEPARTED
 Leader: Holy Mother of God.
 Holy virgin of virgins
St. Michael and all archangels and angels
St. John the Baptist
St. Joseph
Sts. Peter and Paul
All Apostles and Evangelists
St. Stephen and all martyrs
St. Gregory
St. Ambrose
St. Augustine
St. Benedict
St. Jerome
All holy bishops, confessors and doctors of the Church
All holy monks and hermits
St. Magdalene
St. Barbara

Leader: From all evil.
Response (All): 0 LORD, DELIVER THEM.
Leader: From your wrath
From the rigor of your justice
From the power of the devil
From the gnawing worn of conscience
From long enduring sorrow
From eternal flames
From horrible darkness
From dreadful weeping and wailing
Through you most cruel death
Through your most holy wounds
Through your holy resurrection
Through the coming of the Holy Spirit
In the Day of Judgment

Leader: You who have the keys of heaven
Response (All): WE BESEECH YOU, HEAR US, 0 LORD
 Leader: You would be pleased to deliver the souls of our
relatives and friends from the pains of hell
You who would be pleased to grant them all the
pardon and remission of all their sins
You who would be pleased to fulfill all their
desires
You who would be pleased to receive them into the
company of the blessed
Leader: Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the
world.
All: Grant Unto them eternal rest.
Leader: Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the
world.
All: Grant unto them eternal rest.
Leader: Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the
world.
All: Grant unto them eternal rest.

CONCLUDING PRAYER
Leader: Merciful Father, hear our prayers and console us.  As we renew our faith in your Son, whom you
raised from the dead, strengthen our hope that our dear departed will share in Christ’s resurrection, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever.
All: AMEN.

Leader: Eternal rest grant unto 0 Lord.
All: And let your perpetual light shine upon him/her.
Leader: May he/she rest in peace.
All: Amen.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Prayer for the Deceased

Loving Father, we place our loved ones in your hands, we trust in you that they will be raised to life one day and will live forever with Christ, as you have promised to all those who die in Christ.  We thank you for all your blessings, and for all you have done in your Fatherly care for our loved ones and for us.  Father, hear our prayer and welcome our loved one into paradise with you and all saints.  Help us as we comfort one another in faith that one day, we will all meet together again in Christ.  We ask this through Christ our Lord.  Amen.

Prayer for Mourners

O God and Father of consolation, your merciful love toward us in unbounded, take our darkness and turn it into light of new life.  Have compassion on us in our sorrow, and be our refuge and strength, lift us from darkness of grief by the healing of your peace and light.  Jesus, your son died for us on the cross, and then rose from the dead, restoring life for all of us. Help us to go forward in life to meet Him, so that after our own life on earth is ended, we may join our loved ones, where every tear will be wiped away.  We ask this through Christ our Lord.  Amen.
 
Eternal rest grant unto Angelito, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.  May the soul of Angelito Tenorio and the souls of all of the faithful departed rest in peace.  Amen.

Achieving Graciousness

"Trials are medicines which our gracious and wise physician prescribes because we need them; and he proportions the frequency and weight of them to what the case requires."  ~John Newton

After coping with several unusually stressful situations beginning last summer and culminating near the end of the year, I found that I could no longer hold my head reasonably high and carry on  with a smile on my face but was, instead, caving to despair.  Unlike Job, when tested, I resorted to tears and anger instead of faithfully trusting in the Lord's providence and love for me.  I could not make myself say "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."  I was feeling pretty ugly.  I was acting even uglier.  I could not seem to summon up hope, trust or faith.  Prayer was practically non-existent.  The Holy Spirit must have been working overtime in my soul, praying for me along with my beautiful family and friends who are always so generous in prayer.

"The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love."  ~Psalm 145:8

And then, through the example of several people who were graciously suffering through their own trials,  God showed me that it was not so much hope, trust or faith that I lacked, but rather it was graciousness that was in short supply in my disposition.

"To bear defeat with dignity, to accept criticism with poise, to receive honors with humility-these are marks of maturity and graciousness."  ~William Arthur Ward

The first example that God showed me was the beautiful witness of Ed and Lisa Slattery, the parents of four sons who have been coping with Ed's cancer diagnosis with bravery and joy.  This past Friday, some of their friends and family members hosted a fish fry benefit for the Slattery's that was attended by what seemed to be more than 1000 people who love and admire the family and wanted to help them.  Events like that cannot be successful for people who are stingy in the virtue of graciousness.  It was easy to see that Ed and Lisa abound in graciousness and it is returned to them in abundance.  You can read about Ed and Lisa's story of graciousness through suffering here in my previous post and here at the Milwaukee Catholic Herald.

"Gracious words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."  ~Proverbs 16:24

The next example of graciousness came through the words of a child.  My daughter Mary plays sixth grade basketball.  After years of watching my four sons play, I am often struck by how vicious girls seem to play compared to boys.  In their efforts to steal the ball away from their opponent, girls do an excessive amount of grabbing, clawing, scratching and elbowing.  It's often as painful to watch as it must be to play.  In one of her most recent games, a girl on the opposing team was knocked down to the ground and sat there in pain, crying loudly as she held her shoulder.  It was thought that she might have dislocated the limb and she sat on the bench with an ice pack for the remainder of the game.  At the end of the hard-fought competition, my daughter's team lost the game.  And the girl who was injured walked over to my daughter and simply said, "Your team plays very well."  What a lovely example of gracious behavior!

"Now when Jesus had come into Peter’s house, He saw his wife’s mother lying sick with a fever. So He touched her hand, and the fever left her. And she arose and served them."  ~Matthew 8:14-17

Finally, last weekend when my family and I attended Mass, I was deeply affected to see a friend who was sitting in front of me sobbing uncontrollably.  Several people, including the pastor, came to offer her words of comfort and prayer before Mass.  Two of her four children were participating in the liturgy, her thirteen-year-old daughter in the choir and her sixteen-year-old son assisting the little ones at the Children's Liturgy of the Word.  My friend was surrounded by family members who were holding her and crying with her.  It wasn't until the Prayer of the Faithful that I understood what was wrong.  At the prayer for those who have recently died, her husband's name was included.  After Mass, as many parishioners gathered around her to embrace her and offer condolences, she shared the fact that her husband had died the day before and they were all in a state of shock as his death was quite sudden and unexpected.  I couldn't help but be overcome by the graciousness of a family in grief, coming to Mass and worshiping with their parish, continuing in their acts of liturgical service, allowing those who love them to accompany them in their grief.  I thought of Peter's mother-in-law, who, once she was touched by Christ, continued in service to others despite her recent illness.  Joining with communal worship despite deep sorrow is gracious indeed.

"Realize that when you get older, you either get senile or become gracious.  There's no in-between.  You become senile when you think the world short-changed you, or everybody wakes up to screw you.  You become gracious when you realize that you have something the world needs, and people are happy to see you when you come into the room."  ~Carlos Santana

I am grateful for these examples of graciousness in difficulty and I pray that God will continue to convert my heart to graciousness so that like the Slattery family, the girl on the basketball team and the family in grief, I may always choose to be gracious to others, freely sharing my gifts and thereby reflecting my Christian faith and love for others despite any pain that may come my way.  After being witness to these examples of graciousness, I found that I could once again lean upon God in prayer, I could summon up the hope, trust and faith that I thought I lacked, and I learned that I, too, can be an example of graciousness for others.  The world is a beautiful place, full of blessings and the wonders of God. When we choose to focus on the good within life instead of the negative we can all become examples of His goodness and His graciousness to those around us. 

"The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace." -Numbers 6:24-26

Here is God

"In life we do many things, say many things, but the voice of suffering offered out of love - which is perhaps unheard by and unknown to others - is the loudest cry that can penetrate Heaven" 
~Chiara Lubich

In my previous post I asked the question "Where are you God?"  I've since learned that when we ask a question of God we had better be prepared to hear an answer, for God did answer my question, not just in the quiet of my silent home at night, but also in a very profound way, through the witness of a faithful couple who are undergoing the effects of cancer and the changes that this diagnosis has brought to their lives.

My family is made up of early risers and we usually attend the 7:30 AM Mass on Sundays at our parish, but  my son John was asked to cantor at the 9 AM Mass this past weekend, so we all slept in a bit to attend the later Mass together.  The church was full of familiar faces that we hadn't see in many years since we started routinely attending the earlier Mass.

After Mass many of the worshipers headed down to the church hall for "Hospitality Sunday"  which is an opportunity to socialize with others while enjoying coffee and donuts.  On this particular Sunday, the Home and School Association was also sponsoring a hot ham and roll/bake sale to raise funds.

My family and I sat with some old friends that we hadn't seen in a while and we were enjoying catching up with each other.  Soon we were joined by our pastor, Fr. Dave, who had purchased some of the ham and rolls and was generously and lovingly serving it to my family.  It felt so good to be in the presence of family and friends, just relaxing and enjoying each other's company.  Then as the hall started to clear out a bit I saw them in the corner of my eye: Ed and Lisa Slattery, that is.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~Philipians 4:13

My family and I have known Ed and Lisa for the past ten years.  Ed has been the basketball coach for my sons, John and Jack, and they both learned so much under Ed's guidance.  We have spent many enjoyable hours sitting in the gym watching Ed pace back and forth and calling out "Bender! Bounce pass!" or "Bender!  Shoot!" or "Bender!  Dribble!"  Ed has devoted countless hours to teaching not only his own four sons, but many other boys as well, the skills necessary to play a good game of basketball, and there are many families, including my own, that are deeply grateful to him for selflessly sharing his passion for the sport with their sons.

But now Ed is in need of much prayer as he was diagnosed with cancer of the throat.  After initial treatments,  he was recently diagnosed for a second time.  It's a heartbreak not only for Ed and Lisa and their fine four sons, but also for everyone who knows Ed.

Paul and I had a blessed opportunity to sit and speak with them before heading out for the day.  Ed sat with a half-eaten donut that was too dry for him to manage to swallow since his face is now half-paralyzed.  His voice, barely audible, was a small echo of the robust shouts we remember hearing on the basketball court.

Lisa, a beautiful woman of great strength and deep love, spoke about the countless hours that they spend in doctor's offices these days.  She talked about how they scramble to get his medical care appointments arranged around both of their work schedules, the work that is more necessary than ever to pay for their medical bills. But they didn't only speak about Ed's health.  Both Ed's and Lisa's eyes just shone with pride as they spoke about their boys, particularly their two oldest who both attend UW-Madison.  Lisa, in particular, spoke of what a blessing it is to see that their Catholic faith still plays an important role in the  lives of her adult sons as the campus offers an abundance of opportunities available to them.

But her eyes quickly filled with tears as Ed showed us the gift that Lisa gave him for their most recent anniversary.  It was a ring that said "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  He mentioned that wearing it to work has allowed him to witness to the faith with his co-workers.  But Ed didn't dwell on his health for long before the conversation quickly turned to his passion, teaching boys to play basketball, and both Ed's and Lisa's faces lit up with joy.

As we sat and visited with Ed and Lisa, I was overcome with, not sadness, but joy.  It was so easy to see that this couple has accepted the cross which has been laid upon their shoulders and they see each day as an opportunity to care for each other and their children with love and grace.  So here was God, not just passing by but sitting directly across from me.  Here was God in this beautiful and strong and faith-filled couple.   Here He was, showing me what it means to trust, to hope and to love.  Here was God living in Ed and Lisa Slattery and here were Ed and Lisa witnessing to God's loving presence through their every word and action.  It was a moment of unmeasurable blessing.

There will be a benefit fish fry and silent auction to financially aid the Slattery family this Friday, January 25th at St. Florian's Parish in West Milwaukee from 5-10 PM.  Details are below.  If you are in the Milwaukee area, please consider attending to help this wonderful family.  And please, no matter where you are, will you offer a prayer for Ed's healing and for all of the family's needs during this difficult time?

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Hundreds of young athletes from Milwaukee, West Allis, Whitnall, and Greenfield have benefited from the thousands of hours Coach Slattery has dedicated to them over the last 15 years.  Unfortunately Ed, Coach Slattery, has been diagnosed with cancer for a second time.  As he fights through this challenge Ed and his family can use our help.

If you know Ed, you know him as a committed coach, great co-worker, dedicated husband and proud father of four.

A benefit dinner and silent auction with DJ is planned to financially aid the Slattery family.

ED SLATTERY BENEFIT FISH-FRY 
AND SILENT AUCTION
Come to:
St. Florian Parish
1233 South 45th Street Milwaukee, WI 53214
 (1 block North of Greenfield Ave. on 45^th St.)
Friday January 25^th, 2013
Benefit:  5:00 PM until 10:00 PM (FISH FRY 4 - 7)
Voted Best Fish Fry by the readership of the Catholic Herald

Donation: Adults $20.00 and Children $10.00 (12 & under)
Tickets available at the door 
All proceeds will benefit the Slattery family during Ed’s treatment and recovery.
SORRY, DONATIONS ARE NOT TAX DEDUCTABLE.