Tuesday, November 17, 2009

It Will All Be Worth It

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

“The Answer”
Sarah McLachlan

My mom and her sister Marge were women of deep faith. Their entire lives were lived in the love of the Lord. My mom died ten years ago. It was a brain tumor that resulted in her leaving this earth for eternity with the Lord at the age of 73. Eight years later my aunt Marge passed away at the age of 87.

At the funeral wake for Marge, her daughter, my cousin Mary, a beautiful and faith filled woman who seemed to have everything going for her, shared a story with me about my mom. It seems that Mary had been suffering from depression at the time of my mom’s death. Life for her was very bleak. Shortly after my mom had died, Mary had a dream about her. In Mary's dream, my mom came to her and said “Mary, it’s all worth it.” That dream gave my cousin so much peace, believing that my mom was in heaven and was encouraging Mary by letting her know that all of those earthly trials will be replaced with the joys of heaven. Of course, my sisters and I were a bit jealous of Mary because she had the dream about my mom and we didn’t, but maybe Mary needed it more at that time.

In the few months before my Aunt Marge died I myself had two experiences of prayer that have left me pondering the power of prayer and the ability we have to feel the needs of others. I was at daily Mass. During the consecration when the priest prays for those who have died, our pastor, Fr. Dave, has the habit of pausing to give everyone time to silently pray for those departed souls that we hold deeply in our hearts. I always use this time to pray for my parents and anyone I know who has died recently, by giving their names to the Lord. Suddenly, out of the blue, Marge's name came to my mind. I had not been thinking of her and had not seen her in such a long time. I wondered, "why now?" Had she died and I hadn't heard about it yet? Shortly after I “heard” her name at Mass, I was told that she was sick and in the hospital. I wondered if it wasn’t Marge’s angel who had placed her name in my mind and my heart, knowing that she was in need of prayer. A few months later this happened yet again, Marge's name coming to my mind during the consecration at Mass. It was later that I learned she had been moved to a hospice right around the time when I had "heard" her name at Mass.

By the time she finally did die, I was the one suffering through a deep depression like my cousin Mary. So, although I never had a dream about my aunt Marge or my mom comforting me from heaven, my cousin Mary’s words to me at Marge’s funeral wake about her own dream gave me comfort. God must have meant for her to share her experience with me at this particular time because he knew I needed it more at that moment than I did at the time of my own mother’s death.

Since that time two years ago, my bouts of depression come and go with a frequency which leaves me spinning, but those words that Mary heard in her dream, “it’s all worth it”, help me to cope when I know that whatever suffering I undergo here on earth will draw me to eternal joys if I can only remember to offer it up to God for the good of others both living and deceased.


  1. Thanks for sharing. These stories about deep love, faith and trials always act to pull me back and anchor me. The reading today from Macabees, about the old man who would not eat pork. How he suffered horribly until his death, I thought about that all day. Now I'll go to bed thinking of your Mom...

  2. This post moved me. Sometimes I forget how fleeting this life and it's sufferings are compared to eternity with God.

  3. Thank you so much for giving us this HOPE today Anne.
    HOW good and loving a God we serve that allows us to commune with Saints and Angels...placing needs and prayers upon our hearts and sending messages we need to help us "keep running the race". May your mother and Aunt Marge rest in Heavenly Peace with CHRIST. And please know, that I am always only an email away if the ugly head of depression rears itself upon you! God's blessings upon you this day my friend!

  4. This passage comes to mind as I read this post:
    "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful".
    John 14:27

    God be with you Anne, and may your work be continuely blessed.

  5. Please feel free to e-mail me at any time if you need a friendly ear. I, too have gone through bouts of depression over the years and have spent a lot of time with Jesus in the garden. I pray for you daily. May the Lord wrap His peace and love around you.

  6. Whatever happened to Fr. Christian Mustum? His blog went down. Then his insightful articles just dried out.