"Real love hurts. We must love until it hurts." Mother Teresa
Sometimes praise comes hard. This is a hard praise.
Yesterday, I received the news that one of my friends at work has suffered the loss of her husband this past Thursday. Suicide. My friend, along with her 18-year-old son and her 20-year-old daughter, found him dead inside their home. Their love couldn't save him. My friend is a sweet, strong and loving person. She is always thinking of others and doing for others. She has great love. I haven't been a very good friend to her. I didn't know that her family was suffering so much. I never reached out to her to ask about her life. Her office was down the hall from mine, and I didn't take the time to walk down the hall and get to know her better. It would have been so easy for me, but I didn't do it. Would showing my love for her by spending more time with her have changed anything in her life? I don't know. But knowing that we are loved has to help. I do love my friend. Today, I am hurting for her. I want to do more for her and I resolve to love her more from now on.
We were supposed to have our office Christmas party yesterday, but none of us felt like celebrating so we canceled it. I went to a small adoration chapel to spend some time with the Lord. I was in the front row, so close to the Monstrance that I could almost touch it. Was my mind playing tricks on me, allowing me to see what I was longing to see? The light cast a shadow on the the Host, and it looked as if I could see the outline of a person in the wafer. I decided it was Jesus. Jesus showed himself to me in the form of a man in the Host yesterday. I always have believed that He is truly present there, but to "see" Him, when I really needed Him was a great comfort.
I love the silence of adoration and am always hoping that I will "hear" Him speak to me. I never feel as though I do. But yesterday, I was sure I did. What I heard Him say was "Love more. Let it hurt."
Isn't that exactly what Jesus did? He loved us more and more until He hurt with the pain of crucifixion. Would it really be so hard for me to spend more time with others, showing my love in a real and tangible way, instead of hiding within myself, nursing my own wounds? I believe that this is what Jesus was telling me to do during my time with Him in adoration.
Jesus, I praise you because you "loved more". Help me to also "love more". Let me love others until it hurts. Amen.
(Thanks to Jennifer at My Chocolate Heart for this MEME.)
People in modern American society often choose to suffer in silence. I don't think we are particularly welcoming of the kind of sharing and the giving of the kind of time that our colleagues often need, so they suffer in silence. I am sometimes surprised by the deep nature of the personal problems that people bring to me via my open-door policy. It tells me that they are not getting the love and support that I would like them to get from their colleagues and immediate supervisors. I do my best, but I am hierarchy-wise quite a bit removed from them so I don't regularly see any one of them. You are kind to worry about your colleague, and I am sure she will benefit from future interactions and support. (And no, I don't think there is anything that you could have done that would have helped prevent her husband's suicide -- that was not even *her* issue; it was *his*.)
ReplyDeleteHave a good weekend!
Anne,
ReplyDeleteYour post was lovely. You shouldn't feel guilty about your friend's husband's suicide. I guess the important thing those around her can do now is to love and support her and her family, as you said.
It's a terrible time of the year to lose a loved one, (Is there ever a good time?) but Christmas time is a period that's meant for peace, love and joy.
Mat God continue to bless your efforts and your work. I will remember your prayer: to love others until it hurts.
Love and prayers,
Gail
I am praying very much for your friend and her her husband. It is good that she has people to hurt for her, people to care and love at this time. What a terrible way to lose somebody - I am sure it has left a wound that can only be healed by love. In prayer,
ReplyDeleteEdel
I am praying.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for your friend, for her family, and for her deceased husband. May he rest in peace.
But I'm also praying for you. Thank you for caring, for hurting and for loving.
God bless.
I'm sorry to hear of your friend's loss. Suicide is always tragic, her husband must have been deeply depressed. Sometimes, even those we do reach out to still take their own lives. I know that you read about my friend Diane, many tried to help her but her heart was closed to others. We can only pray that God heals them in his great mercy. I will pray for your friend, her husband and children.
ReplyDeleteAnne, I think you do love until it hurts.
Anne, my heart goes out to your friend and her family. I can't imagine the pain of healing from a loved one's suicide. We have had a few suicides in the school community where I work and it is oh, so painful. There are so many questions for those who remain behind.
ReplyDeleteI will definitely be praying for this family, and for you. I love how you went to Adoration and took your thoughts and grief with you ... isn't it amazing what some time in that quiet chapel can do?
Will offer prayers for the family. So sad at anytime, but always their anniversary memory to be just before Christmas seems particularly hard.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with your friend and her family.
ReplyDeleteI also pray that the Lord will give peace to you and all your co-workers during this time as well.
May we all love more.
God Bless